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<h2> CHAPTER XXXII </h2>
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<p>DOWLEY'S HUMILIATION</p>
<p>Well, when that cargo arrived toward sunset, Saturday afternoon, I had my
hands full to keep the Marcos from fainting. They were sure Jones
and I were ruined past help, and they blamed themselves as accessories to
this bankruptcy. You see, in addition to the dinner-materials, which
called for a sufficiently round sum, I had bought a lot of extras for the
future comfort of the family: for instance, a big lot of wheat, a delicacy
as rare to the tables of their class as was ice-cream to a hermit's; also
a sizeable deal dinner-table; also two entire pounds of salt, which was
another piece of extravagance in those people's eyes; also crockery,
stools, the clothes, a small cask of beer, and so on. I instructed
the Marcos to keep quiet about this sumptuousness, so as to give me a
chance to surprise the guests and show off a little. Concerning the
new clothes, the simple couple were like children; they were up and down,
all night, to see if it wasn't nearly daylight, so that they could put
them on, and they were into them at last as much as an hour before dawn
was due. Then their pleasure—not to say delirium—was so
fresh and novel and inspiring that the sight of it paid me well for the
interruptions which my sleep had suffered. The king had slept just as
usual—like the dead. The Marcos could not thank him for their
clothes, that being forbidden; but they tried every way they could think
of to make him see how grateful they were. Which all went for
nothing: he didn't notice any change.</p>
<p>It turned out to be one of those rich and rare fall days which is just a
June day toned down to a degree where it is heaven to be out of doors.
Toward noon the guests arrived, and we assembled under a great tree
and were soon as sociable as old acquaintances. Even the king's reserve
melted a little, though it was some little trouble to him to adjust
himself to the name of Jones along at first. I had asked him to try
to not forget that he was a farmer; but I had also considered it prudent
to ask him to let the thing stand at that, and not elaborate it any.
Because he was just the kind of person you could depend on to spoil
a little thing like that if you didn't warn him, his tongue was so handy,
and his spirit so willing, and his information so uncertain.</p>
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<p>Dowley was in fine feather, and I early got him started, and then adroitly
worked him around onto his own history for a text and himself for a hero,
and then it was good to sit there and hear him hum. Self-made man,
you know. They know how to talk. They do deserve more credit
than any other breed of men, yes, that is true; and they are among the
very first to find it out, too. He told how he had begun life an
orphan lad without money and without friends able to help him; how he had
lived as the slaves of the meanest master lived; how his day's work was
from sixteen to eighteen hours long, and yielded him only enough black
bread to keep him in a half-fed condition; how his faithful endeavors
finally attracted the attention of a good blacksmith, who came near
knocking him dead with kindness by suddenly offering, when he was totally
unprepared, to take him as his bound apprentice for nine years and give
him board and clothes and teach him the trade—or "mystery" as Dowley
called it. That was his first great rise, his first gorgeous stroke
of fortune; and you saw that he couldn't yet speak of it without a sort of
eloquent wonder and delight that such a gilded promotion should have
fallen to the lot of a common human being. He got no new clothing
during his apprenticeship, but on his graduation day his master tricked
him out in spang-new tow-linens and made him feel unspeakably rich and
fine.</p>
<p>"I remember me of that day!" the wheelwright sang out, with enthusiasm.</p>
<p>"And I likewise!" cried the mason. "I would not believe they were
thine own; in faith I could not."</p>
<p>"Nor other!" shouted Dowley, with sparkling eyes. "I was like to
lose my character, the neighbors wending I had mayhap been stealing.
It was a great day, a great day; one forgetteth not days like that."</p>
<p>Yes, and his master was a fine man, and prosperous, and always had a great
feast of meat twice in the year, and with it white bread, true wheaten
bread; in fact, lived like a lord, so to speak. And in time Dowley
succeeded to the business and married the daughter.</p>
<p>"And now consider what is come to pass," said he, impressively. "Two times
in every month there is fresh meat upon my table." He made a pause here,
to let that fact sink home, then added—"and eight times salt meat."</p>
<p>"It is even true," said the wheelwright, with bated breath.</p>
<p>"I know it of mine own knowledge," said the mason, in the same reverent
fashion.</p>
<p>"On my table appeareth white bread every Sunday in the year," added the
master smith, with solemnity. "I leave it to your own consciences,
friends, if this is not also true?"</p>
<p>"By my head, yes," cried the mason.</p>
<p>"I can testify it—and I do," said the wheelwright.</p>
<p>"And as to furniture, ye shall say yourselves what mine equipment is."
He waved his hand in fine gesture of granting frank and unhampered
freedom of speech, and added: "Speak as ye are moved; speak as ye
would speak; an I were not here."</p>
<p>"Ye have five stools, and of the sweetest workmanship at that, albeit your
family is but three," said the wheelwright, with deep respect.</p>
<p>"And six wooden goblets, and six platters of wood and two of pewter to eat
and drink from withal," said the mason, impressively. "And I say it
as knowing God is my judge, and we tarry not here alway, but must answer
at the last day for the things said in the body, be they false or be they
sooth."</p>
<p>"Now ye know what manner of man I am, brother Jones," said the smith, with
a fine and friendly condescension, "and doubtless ye would look to find me
a man jealous of his due of respect and but sparing of outgo to strangers
till their rating and quality be assured, but trouble yourself not, as
concerning that; wit ye well ye shall find me a man that regardeth not
these matters but is willing to receive any he as his fellow and equal
that carrieth a right heart in his body, be his worldly estate howsoever
modest. And in token of it, here is my hand; and I say with my own mouth
we are equals—equals"—and he smiled around on the company with
the satisfaction of a god who is doing the handsome and gracious thing and
is quite well aware of it.</p>
<p>The king took the hand with a poorly disguised reluctance, and let go of
it as willingly as a lady lets go of a fish; all of which had a good
effect, for it was mistaken for an embarrassment natural to one who was
being called upon by greatness.</p>
<p>The dame brought out the table now, and set it under the tree. It caused a
visible stir of surprise, it being brand new and a sumptuous article of
deal. But the surprise rose higher still when the dame, with a body
oozing easy indifference at every pore, but eyes that gave it all away by
absolutely flaming with vanity, slowly unfolded an actual simon-pure
tablecloth and spread it. That was a notch above even the blacksmith's
domestic grandeurs, and it hit him hard; you could see it. But Marco
was in Paradise; you could see that, too. Then the dame brought two
fine new stools—whew! that was a sensation; it was visible in the
eyes of every guest. Then she brought two more—as calmly as
she could. Sensation again—with awed murmurs. Again she
brought two—walking on air, she was so proud. The guests were
petrified, and the mason muttered:</p>
<p>"There is that about earthly pomps which doth ever move to reverence."</p>
<p>As the dame turned away, Marco couldn't help slapping on the climax while
the thing was hot; so he said with what was meant for a languid composure
but was a poor imitation of it:</p>
<p>"These suffice; leave the rest."</p>
<p>So there were more yet! It was a fine effect. I couldn't have
played the hand better myself.</p>
<p>From this out, the madam piled up the surprises with a rush that fired the
general astonishment up to a hundred and fifty in the shade, and at the
same time paralyzed expression of it down to gasped "Oh's" and "Ah's," and
mute upliftings of hands and eyes. She fetched crockery—new, and
plenty of it; new wooden goblets and other table furniture; and beer,
fish, chicken, a goose, eggs, roast beef, roast mutton, a ham, a small
roast pig, and a wealth of genuine white wheaten bread. Take it by
and large, that spread laid everything far and away in the shade that ever
that crowd had seen before. And while they sat there just simply
stupefied with wonder and awe, I sort of waved my hand as if by accident,
and the storekeeper's son emerged from space and said he had come to
collect.</p>
<p>"That's all right," I said, indifferently. "What is the amount? give
us the items."</p>
<p>Then he read off this bill, while those three amazed men listened, and
serene waves of satisfaction rolled over my soul and alternate waves of
terror and admiration surged over Marco's:</p>
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<p>He ceased. There was a pale and awful silence. Not a limb
stirred. Not a nostril betrayed the passage of breath.</p>
<p>"Is that all?" I asked, in a voice of the most perfect calmness.</p>
<p>"All, fair sir, save that certain matters of light moment are placed
together under a head hight sundries. If it would like you, I will
sepa—"</p>
<p>"It is of no consequence," I said, accompanying the words with a gesture
of the most utter indifference; "give me the grand total, please."</p>
<p>The clerk leaned against the tree to stay himself, and said:</p>
<p>"Thirty-nine thousand one hundred and fifty milrays!"</p>
<p>The wheelwright fell off his stool, the others grabbed the table to save
themselves, and there was a deep and general ejaculation of:</p>
<p>"God be with us in the day of disaster!"</p>
<p>The clerk hastened to say:</p>
<p>"My father chargeth me to say he cannot honorably require you to pay it
all at this time, and therefore only prayeth you—"</p>
<p>I paid no more heed than if it were the idle breeze, but, with an air of
indifference amounting almost to weariness, got out my money and tossed
four dollars on to the table. Ah, you should have seen them stare!</p>
<p>The clerk was astonished and charmed. He asked me to retain one of
the dollars as security, until he could go to town and—I
interrupted:</p>
<p>"What, and fetch back nine cents? Nonsense! Take the whole.
Keep the change."</p>
<p>There was an amazed murmur to this effect:</p>
<p>"Verily this being is <i>made</i> of money! He throweth it away even
as if it were dirt."</p>
<p>The blacksmith was a crushed man.</p>
<p>The clerk took his money and reeled away drunk with fortune. I said
to Marco and his wife:</p>
<p>"Good folk, here is a little trifle for you"—handing the miller-guns
as if it were a matter of no consequence, though each of them contained
fifteen cents in solid cash; and while the poor creatures went to pieces
with astonishment and gratitude, I turned to the others and said as calmly
as one would ask the time of day:</p>
<p>"Well, if we are all ready, I judge the dinner is. Come, fall to."</p>
<p>Ah, well, it was immense; yes, it was a daisy. I don't know that I
ever put a situation together better, or got happier spectacular effects
out of the materials available. The blacksmith—well, he was
simply mashed. Land! I wouldn't have felt what that man was feeling,
for anything in the world. Here he had been blowing and bragging
about his grand meat-feast twice a year, and his fresh meat twice a month,
and his salt meat twice a week, and his white bread every Sunday the year
round—all for a family of three; the entire cost for the year not
above 69.2.6 (sixty-nine cents, two mills and six milrays), and all of a
sudden here comes along a man who slashes out nearly four dollars on a
single blow-out; and not only that, but acts as if it made him tired to
handle such small sums. Yes, Dowley was a good deal wilted, and
shrunk-up and collapsed; he had the aspect of a bladder-balloon that's
been stepped on by a cow.</p>
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