How Betsey and I Made Up

<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN> <h2>HOW BETSY AND I MADE UP</h2> <p>GIVE us your hand, Mr. Lawyer: how do you do to-day?</p> <p>You drew up that paper&mdash;I s'pose you want your pay.<br/> Don't cut down your figures; make it an X or a V;<br/> For that 'ere written agreement was just the makin' of me.</p> <p>Goin' home that evenin' I tell you I was blue,<br/> Thinkin' of all my troubles, and what I was goin' to do;<br/> And if my hosses hadn't been the steadiest team alive,<br/> They'd 've tipped me over, certain, for I couldn't see where to drive.</p> <p>No&mdash;for I was laborin' under a heavy load;<br/> No&mdash;for I was travelin' an entirely different road;<br/> For I was a-tracin' over the path of our lives ag'in,<br/> And seein' where we missed the way, and where we might have been.</p> <p>And many a corner we'd turned that just to a quarrel led,<br/> When I ought to 've held my temper, and driven straight ahead;<br/> And the more I thought it over the more these memories came,<br/> And the more I struck the opinion that I was the most to blame.</p> <p>And things I had long forgotten kept risin' in my mind,<br/> Of little matters betwixt us, where Betsey was good and kind;<br/> And these things flashed all through me, as you know things<br/> sometimes will<br/> When a feller's alone in the darkness, and every thing is still.</p> <p>"But," says I, "we're too far along to take another track,<br/> And when I put my hand to the plow I do not oft turn back;<br/> And 'tain't an uncommon thing now for couples to smash in two;"<br/> And so I set my teeth together, and vowed I'd see it through.</p> <p>When I come in sight o' the house 'twas some'at in the night,<br/> And just as I turned a hill-top I see the kitchen light;</p> <p>Which often a han'some pictur' to a hungry person makes,<br/> But it don't interest a feller much that's goin' to pull up stakes.</p> <p>And when I went in the house the table was set for me&mdash;<br/> As good a supper's I ever saw, or ever want to see;<br/> And I crammed the agreement down my pocket as well as I could,<br/> And fell to eatin' my victuals, which somehow didn't taste good.</p> <p>And Betsey, she pretended to look about the house,<br/> But she watched my side coat pocket like a cat would watch a mouse:<br/> And then she went to foolin' a little with her cup,<br/> And intently readin' a newspaper, a-holdin' it wrong side up.</p> <p>And when I'd done my supper I drawed the agreement out,<br/> And give it to her without a word, for she knowed what 'twas about;<br/> And then I hummed a little tune, but now and then a note<br/> Was bu'sted by some animal that hopped up in my throat.</p> <p>Then Betsey she got her specs from off the mantel-shelf,<br/> And read the article over quite softly to herself;<br/> Read it by little and little, for her eyes is gettin' old,<br/> And lawyers' writin' ain't no print, especially when it's cold.</p> <p>And after she'd read a little she give my arm a touch,<br/> And kindly said she was afraid I was 'lowin' her too much;<br/> But when she was through she went for me, her face a-streamin' with tears,<br/> And kissed me for the first time in over twenty years!</p> <p>I don't know what you'll think, Sir&mdash;I didn't come to inquire&mdash;<br/> But I picked up that agreement and stuffed it in the fire;<br/> And I told her we'd bury the hatchet alongside of the cow;<br/> And we struck an agreement never to have another row.</p> <p>And I told her in the future I wouldn't speak cross or rash<br/> If half the crockery in the house was broken all to smash;<br/> And she said, in regards to heaven, we'd try and learn its worth<br/> By startin' a branch establishment and runnin' it here on earth.</p> <p>And so we sat a-talkin' three-quarters of the night,<br/> And opened our hearts to each other until they both grew light;<br/> And the days when I was winnin' her away from so many men<br/> Was nothin' to that evenin' I courted her over again.</p> <p>Next mornin' an ancient virgin took pains to call on us,<br/> Her lamp all trimmed and a-burnin' to kindle another fuss;<br/> But when she went to pryin' and openin' of old sores,<br/> My Betsey rose politely, and showed her out-of-doors.</p> <p>Since then I don't deny but there's been a word or two;<br/> But we've got our eyes wide open, and know just what to do:<br/> When one speaks cross the other just meets it with a laugh,<br/> And the first one's ready to give up considerable more than half.</p> <p>Maybe you'll think me soft, Sir, a-talkin' in this style,<br/> But somehow it does me lots of good to tell it once in a while;<br/> And I do it for a compliment&mdash;'tis so that you can see<br/> That that there written agreement of yours was just the makin' of me.</p> <p>So make out your bill, Mr. Lawyer: don't stop short of an X;<br/> Make it more if you want to, for I have got the checks.<br/> I'm richer than a National Bank, with all its treasures told,<br/> For I've got a wife at home now that's worth her weight in gold.</p> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />