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<h2> CHAPTER XI. THE RETURN TO LIFE. </h2>
<p>My first remembrance when I began to recover my senses was the remembrance
of Pain—agonizing pain, as if every nerve in my body were being
twisted and torn out of me. My whole being writhed and quivered under the
dumb and dreadful protest of Nature against the effort to recall me to
life. I would have given worlds to be able to cry out—to entreat the
unseen creatures about me to give me back to death. How long that
speechless agony held me I never knew. In a longer or shorter time there
stole over me slowly a sleepy sense of relief. I heard my own labored
breathing. I felt my hands moving feebly and mechanically, like the hands
of a baby. I faintly opened my eyes and looked round me—as if I had
passed through the ordeal of death, and had awakened to new senses in a
new world.</p>
<p>The first person I saw was a man—a stranger. He moved quietly out of
my sight; beckoning, as he disappeared, to some other person in the room.</p>
<p>Slowly and unwillingly the other person advanced to the sofa on which I
lay. A faint cry of joy escaped me; I tried to hold out my feeble hands.
The other person who was approaching me was my husband!</p>
<p>I looked at him eagerly. He never looked at me in return. With his eyes on
the ground, with a strange appearance of confusion and distress in his
face, he too moved away out of my sight. The unknown man whom I had first
noticed followed him out of the room. I called after him faintly,
"Eustace!" He never answered; he never returned. With an effort I moved my
head on the pillow, so as to look round on the other side of the sofa.
Another familiar face appeared before me as if in a dream. My good old
Benjamin was sitting watching me, with the tears in his eyes.</p>
<p>He rose and took my hand silently, in his simple, kindly way.</p>
<p>"Where is Eustace?" I asked. "Why has he gone away and left me?"</p>
<p>I was still miserably weak. My eyes wandered mechanically round the room
as I put the question. I saw Major Fitz-David, I saw the table on which
the singing girl had opened the book to show it to me. I saw the girl
herself, sitting alone in a corner, with her handkerchief to her eyes as
if she were crying. In one mysterious moment my memory recovered its
powers. The recollection of that fatal title-page came back to me in all
its horror. The one feeling that it roused in me now was a longing to see
my husband—to throw myself into his arms, and tell him how firmly I
believed in his innocence, how truly and dearly I loved him. I seized on
Benjamin with feeble, trembling hands. "Bring him back to me!" I cried,
wildly. "Where is he? Help me to get up!"</p>
<p>A strange voice answered, firmly and kindly: "Compose yourself, madam. Mr.
Woodville is waiting until you have recovered, in a room close by."</p>
<p>I looked at him, and recognized the stranger who had followed my husband
out of the room. Why had he returned alone? Why was Eustace not with me,
like the rest of them? I tried to raise myself, and get on my feet. The
stranger gently pressed me back again on the pillow. I attempted to resist
him—quite uselessly, of course. His firm hand held me as gently as
ever in my place.</p>
<p>"You must rest a little," he said. "You must take some wine. If you exert
yourself now you will faint again."</p>
<p>Old Benjamin stooped over me, and whispered a word of explanation.</p>
<p>"It's the doctor, my dear. You must do as he tells you."</p>
<p>The doctor! They had called the doctor in to help them! I began dimly to
understand that my fainting fit must have presented symptoms far more
serious than the fainting fits of women in general. I appealed to the
doctor, in a helpless, querulous way, to account to me for my husband's
extraordinary absence.</p>
<p>"Why did you let him leave the room?" I asked. "If I can't go to him, why
don't you bring him here to me?"</p>
<p>The doctor appeared to be at a loss how to reply to me. He looked at
Benjamin, and said, "Will you speak to Mrs. Woodville?"</p>
<p>Benjamin, in his turn, looked at Major Fitz-David, and said, "Will <i>you?</i>"
The Major signed to them both to leave us. They rose together, and went
into the front room, pulling the door to after them in its grooves. As
they left us, the girl who had so strangely revealed my husband's secret
to me rose in her corner and approached the sofa.</p>
<p>"I suppose I had better go too?" she said, addressing Major Fitz-David.</p>
<p>"If you please," the Major answered.</p>
<p>He spoke (as I thought) rather coldly. She tossed her head, and turned her
back on him in high indignation. "I must say a word for myself!" cried
this strange creature, with a hysterical outbreak of energy. "I must say a
word, or I shall burst!"</p>
<p>With that extraordinary preface, she suddenly turned my way and poured out
a perfect torrent of words on me.</p>
<p>"You hear how the Major speaks to me?" she began. "He blames me—poor
Me—for everything that has happened. I am as innocent as the
new-born babe. I acted for the best. I thought you wanted the book. I
don't know now what made you faint dead away when I opened it. And the
Major blames Me! As if it was my fault! I am not one of the fainting sort
myself; but I feel it, I can tell you. Yes! I feel it, though I don't
faint about it. I come of respectable parents—I do. My name is
Hoighty—Miss Hoighty. I have my own self-respect; and it's wounded.
I say my self-respect is wounded, when I find myself blamed without
deserving it. You deserve it, if anybody does. Didn't you tell me you were
looking for a book? And didn't I present it to you promiscuously, with the
best intentions? I think you might say so yourself, now the doctor has
brought you to again. I think you might speak up for a poor girl who is
worked to death with singing and languages and what not—a poor girl
who has nobody else to speak for her. I am as respectable as you are, if
you come to that. My name is Hoighty. My parents are in business, and my
mamma has seen better days, and mixed in the best of company."</p>
<p>There Miss Hoighty lifted her handkerchief again to her face, and burst
modestly into tears behind it.</p>
<p>It was certainly hard to hold her responsible for what had happened. I
answered as kindly as I could, and I attempted to speak to Major
Fitz-David in her defense. He knew what terrible anxieties were oppressing
me at that moment; and, considerately refusing to hear a word, he took the
task of consoling his young prima donna entirely on himself. What he said
to her I neither heard nor cared to hear: he spoke in a whisper. It ended
in his pacifying Miss Hoighty, by kissing her hand, and leading her (as he
might have led a duchess) out of the room.</p>
<p>"I hope that foolish girl has not annoyed you—at such a time as
this," he said, very earnestly, when he returned to the sofa. "I can't
tell you how grieved I am at what has happened. I was careful to warn you,
as you may remember. Still, if I could only have foreseen—"</p>
<p>I let him proceed no further. No human forethought could have provided
against what had happened. Besides, dreadful as the discovery had been, I
would rather have made it, and suffered under it, as I was suffering now,
than have been kept in the dark. I told him this. And then I turned to the
one subject that was now of any interest to me—the subject of my
unhappy husband.</p>
<p>"How did he come to this house?" I asked.</p>
<p>"He came here with Mr. Benjamin shortly after I returned," the Major
replied.</p>
<p>"Long after I was taken ill?"</p>
<p>"No. I had just sent for the doctor—feeling seriously alarmed about
you."</p>
<p>"What brought him here? Did he return to the hotel and miss me?"</p>
<p>"Yes. He returned earlier than he had anticipated, and he felt uneasy at
not finding you at the hotel."</p>
<p>"Did he suspect me of being with you? Did he come here from the hotel?"</p>
<p>"No. He appears to have gone first to Mr. Benjamin to inquire about you.
What he heard from your old friend I cannot say. I only know that Mr.
Benjamin accompanied him when he came here."</p>
<p>This brief explanation was quite enough for me—I understood what had
happened. Eustace would easily frighten simple old Benjamin about my
absence from the hotel; and, once alarmed, Benjamin would be persuaded
without difficulty to repeat the few words which had passed between us on
the subject of Major Fitz-David. My husband's presence in the Major's
house was perfectly explained. But his extraordinary conduct in leaving
the room at the very time when I was just recovering my senses still
remained to be accounted for. Major Fitz-David looked seriously
embarrassed when I put the question to him.</p>
<p>"I hardly know how to explain it to you," he said. "Eustace has surprised
and disappointed me."</p>
<p>He spoke very gravely. His looks told me more than his words: his looks
alarmed me.</p>
<p>"Eustace has not quarreled with you?" I said.</p>
<p>"Oh no!"</p>
<p>"He understands that you have not broken your promise to him?"</p>
<p>"Certainly. My young vocalist (Miss Hoighty) told the doctor exactly what
had happened; and the doctor in her presence repeated the statement to
your husband."</p>
<p>"Did the doctor see the Trial?"</p>
<p>"Neither the doctor nor Mr. Benjamin has seen the Trial. I have locked it
up; and I have carefully kept the terrible story of your connection with
the prisoner a secret from all of them. Mr. Benjamin evidently has his
suspicions. But the doctor has no idea, and Miss Hoighty has no idea, of
the true cause of your fainting fit. They both believe that you are
subject to serious nervous attacks, and that your husband's name is really
Woodville. All that the truest friend could do to spare Eustace I have
done. He persists, nevertheless, in blaming me for letting you enter my
house. And worse, far worse than this, he persists in declaring the event
of to-day has fatally estranged you from him. 'There is an end of our
married life,' he said to me, 'now she knows that I am the man who was
tried at Edinburgh for poisoning my wife!"'</p>
<p>I rose from the sofa in horror.</p>
<p>"Good God!" I cried, "does Eustace suppose that I doubt his innocence?"</p>
<p>"He denies that it is possible for you or for anybody to believe in his
innocence," the Major replied.</p>
<p>"Help me to the door," I said. "Where is he? I must and will see him!"</p>
<p>I dropped back exhausted on the sofa as I said the words. Major Fitz-David
poured out a glass of wine from the bottle on the table, and insisted on
my drinking it.</p>
<p>"You shall see him," said the Major. "I promise you that. The doctor has
forbidden him to leave the house until you have seen him. Only wait a
little! My poor, dear lady, wait, if it is only for a few minutes, until
you are stronger."</p>
<p>I had no choice but to obey him. Oh, those miserable, helpless minutes on
the sofa! I cannot write of them without shuddering at the recollection—even
at this distance of time.</p>
<p>"Bring him here!" I said. "Pray, pray bring him here!"</p>
<p>"Who is to persuade him to come back?" asked the Major, sadly. "How can I,
how can anybody, prevail with a man—a madman I had almost said!—who
could leave you at the moment when you first opened your eyes on him? I
saw Eustace alone in the next room while the doctor was in attendance on
you. I tried to shake his obstinate distrust of your belief in his
innocence and of my belief in his innocence by every argument and every
appeal that an old friend could address to him. He had but one answer to
give me. Reason as I might, and plead as I might, he still persisted in
referring me to the Scotch Verdict."</p>
<p>"The Scotch Verdict?" I repeated. "What is that?"</p>
<p>The Major looked surprised at the question.</p>
<p>"Have you really never heard of the Trial?" he said.</p>
<p>"Never."</p>
<p>"I thought it strange," he went on, "when you told me you had found out
your husband's true name, that the discovery appeared to have suggested no
painful association to your mind. It is not more than three years since
all England was talking of your husband. One can hardly wonder at his
taking refuge, poor fellow, in an assumed name. Where could you have been
at the time?"</p>
<p>"Did you say it was three years ago?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"I think I can explain my strange ignorance of what was so well known to
every one else. Three years since my father was alive. I was living with
him in a country-house in Italy—up in the mountains, near Sienna. We
never saw an English newspaper or met with an English traveler for weeks
and weeks together. It is just possible that there might have been some
reference made to the Trial in my father's letters from England. If there
were, he never told me of it. Or, if he did mention the case, I felt no
interest in it, and forgot it again directly. Tell me—what has the
Verdict to do with my husband's horrible doubt of us? Eustace is a free
man. The Verdict was Not Guilty, of course?"</p>
<p>Major Fitz-David shook his head sadly.</p>
<p>"Eustace was tried in Scotland," he said. "There is a verdict allowed by
the Scotch law, which (so far as I know) is not permitted by the laws of
any other civilized country on the face of the earth. When the jury are in
doubt whether to condemn or acquit the prisoner brought before them, they
are permitted, in Scotland, to express that doubt by a form of compromise.
If there is not evidence enough, on the one hand, to justify them in
finding a prisoner guilty, and not evidence enough, on the other hand, to
thoroughly convince them that a prisoner is innocent, they extricate
themselves from the difficulty by finding a verdict of Not Proven."</p>
<p>"Was that the Verdict when Eustace was tried?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"The jury were not quite satisfied that my husband was guilty? and not
quite satisfied that my husband was innocent? Is that what the Scotch
Verdict means?"</p>
<p>"That is what the Scotch Verdict means. For three years that doubt about
him in the minds of the jury who tried him has stood on public record."</p>
<p>Oh, my poor darling! my innocent martyr! I understood it at last. The
false name in which he had married me; the terrible words he had spoken
when he had warned me to respect his secret; the still more terrible doubt
that he felt of me at that moment—it was all intelligible to my
sympathies, it was all clear to my understanding, now. I got up again from
the sofa, strong in a daring resolution which the Scotch Verdict had
suddenly kindled in me—a resolution at once too sacred and too
desperate to be confided, in the first instance, to any other than my husband's
ear.</p>
<p>"Take me to Eustace!" I cried. "I am strong enough to bear anything now."</p>
<p>After one searching look at me, the Major silently offered me his arm, and
led me out of the room.</p>
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