<h2><SPAN name="ENGAGEMENT_AND_WEDDING_CEREMONIES" id="ENGAGEMENT_AND_WEDDING_CEREMONIES" /><SPAN name="Page_100" id="Page_100" /><SPAN name="Page_101" id="Page_101" />ENGAGEMENT AND WEDDING CEREMONIES</h2>
<p>The hearers waited with eagerness for the next Friday evening, as they
enjoyed so much hearing those interesting letters.</p>
<p>The next Mr Jacobs read was this:</p>
<p>"Hulda is only fifteen years of age, and has already been married six
months. If she were dressed as girls are dressed in England, she would
really look beautiful; but her beauty is, I think, marred by the silk
handkerchief she wears on her head, which covers half her forehead and
her ears, so that none of her hair can be seen, I mean that part of it
that was shaved off. Over the silk handkerchief she wears a black velvet
band, to which gold coins are attached and these are put on so
coquettishly that it makes the head-gear look quite artistic. Sometimes
she wears ornaments with pearls in them. These special trinkets are, of
course, worn only on Sabbaths and Festivals or some other special
occasions.</p>
<p>"The shaving of part of the young wife's head the day after her marriage
is a custom to prevent young married women from being tempted by <SPAN name="Page_102" id="Page_102" />vanity
to show off their hair, which is generally in Palestine very beautiful.
The poor things cover up the part so well that there is no fear of any
of it being seen.</p>
<p>"Hulda is tall and well-developed for her age, and lively as a cricket,
always ready to play and laugh and joke with us. She started by telling
me: 'I was invited to visit my betrothed's family during the holidays,
and my future mother-in-law let me help her with the baking and cooking,
and was specially pleased with the way I stretched out the dough for the
lockshen—I made it look so thin, like a paper wrapper. She told me that
I would make a good housewife. Then I showed all the family some of the
linen garments I had made and had with me, and the crochet I had trimmed
them with.'</p>
<p>"Here Hulda turned to me and said: 'our mothers encourage us at eight
years of age to begin to make garments for our trousseaux, and at the
age of ten we start to crochet lace and embroider, so by the time we get
married we have all our things ready, for they cannot be bought
ready-made in Palestine. When we become betrothed we work our future
initials on our things and make our dresses.'</p>
<p>"'While I was staying at my betrothed's home, we never spoke to each
other, except to say Good-morning and Good-night. Sometimes <SPAN name="Page_103" id="Page_103" />when no one
saw us we looked at one another, for already I liked my young man,
though he was not handsome. A wise girl does not want good looks in a
husband so much as that he should be a good Talmudist and be a good
character; this he is, and I could listen to him for ever,' she said,
blushing like a rose; 'when he sings Zmires, his voice is like a
nightingale, and even in the mornings, when he thinks I am asleep, it is
just lovely to hear his sing-song as he studies—it is to me the
sweetest of all music,' she said.</p>
<p>"'So it should be, my child,' said our old lady, 'and it is a privilege
for us women to help them to study.'</p>
<p>"'So my mother says,' said Hulda, naturally.</p>
<p>"At the same time I thought to myself: 'A nice thing it would be if only
our men were to study and our women to work, as they mostly do here and
in Russian ghetto towns. No,' I thought, 'I would rather that the men
did some manual labour as well as study, and the women have some time
for study as well as for household work.'</p>
<p>"But I kept these thoughts to myself, while Hulda continued to tell me
what a longing she had to see more of her betrothed; but she did not see
him again till after the marriage ceremony.</p>
<p>"I will try to describe the ceremonies to you <SPAN name="Page_104" id="Page_104" />in detail, as I have now
been to several weddings here, and I think you would like to know.</p>
<p>"A week before the wedding, all the relations and friends come to help
bake and prepare the wedding-feast; for, as these proceedings last about
eight days, it is no easy matter to celebrate them.</p>
<p>"The bride's trousseau is shown to the guests who come, and everything
is examined and counted by all, especially the relations of the
bridegrooms. When there happens to be less than expected, woe betide the
bride, for she is always reproached about it by her mother-in-law or his
other relatives.</p>
<p>"On the Sabbath before the marriage the bridegroom is called up to read
the Law, and friends pay him visits.—First they send him nicely baked
cakes or puddings and a bottle of wine. (It is a good thing that this is
the custom, or else a poor man would be ruined by the cost of all the
feasting that he is expected to provide).</p>
<p>"During the week the bride's friends come every evening and dance and
sing in her home, coffee and cakes and baked nuts being handed round.</p>
<p>"The morning of the wedding, both bride and bridegroom fast, and each
goes with his or her parents to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, to <SPAN name="Page_105" id="Page_105" />pray
for a blessing on their married life, and then they go to be blessed by
the Rav.</p>
<p>"When the bride returns home, she is dressed in her bridal dress. Then
she is led up to a chair that has been raised off the floor; her hair is
unloosed and allowed to hang over her shoulders; and this is the last
time, for the next day most of it is shaved off.</p>
<p>"Her young friends stand near her and each sings a song, bidding
good-bye to her maiden days; and the bride weeps, fearing what the
future may hold in store for her. Then the bridegroom comes in, led by
his friends, who carry candles. He is given a veil, which he throws over
his bride's head, and then leaves with his friends for the Synagogue.</p>
<p>"Though some parts of the ceremony look ridiculous, yet all is carried
out so solemnly that one feels very much impressed.</p>
<p>"The bride is then led by two of her relatives or friends, who carry
candles, and all the other friends follow them through the streets, some
also carrying candles. As there are no carriages to be had in Jerusalem,
they have sometimes to walk some distance to the Synagogue.</p>
<p>"The usual bridal canopy is in the Synagogue, and they walk round it
seven times; then prayers are said, and the glass is broken; Mazzeltov
is said, and with songs and clapping of hands the <SPAN name="Page_106" id="Page_106" />bridal pair is led
home again. Near the home a large Bagel is held by a friend, and as the
couple cross the threshold it is broken over their heads, and the pieces
are distributed among the guests. The bride and bridegroom are then led
into a room, and the door is closed for five minutes—I suppose to be
sure that they are the right persons, anyhow the bridegroom lifts the
bride's veil and gives her the first kiss he has ever given her. (I do
not know if she kisses him, for she may be too shy: they will not tell
when I ask).</p>
<p>"After the five minutes have passed, the bride is led out of the room to
a room where the women-guests are assembled, while the bridegroom goes
to a room where the men-guests are. The feasting lasts for a few hours
in each room. Then the bride is led by some of her women friends to the
room where the men are, and the bridegroom takes her by the hand and
starts dancing; the other guests follow suit. It is amusing to see the
old grey-bearded scholars, who, one would think, could not move their
legs, dance and rejoice while the lookers-on clap and sing. It is far
more exciting than a wedding in London, for it is considered a 'Mitzvah'
to rejoice with a young bridal couple.</p>
<p>"The dancing goes on for some time, the only miserable pair, I expect,
are the bride and <SPAN name="Page_107" id="Page_107" />bridegroom, who generally become very weary of it
all, for they started their wedding pilgrimage very early in the morning
and had fasted till the feasting began late in the afternoon—I often
wonder that they have any energy left in them, poor things, for they
cannot retire till late at night.</p>
<p>"The next day comes the ceremony of cutting off the bride's hair. The
bridegroom's mother hands her a few silk handkerchiefs to be worn on her
head on special occasions. Sometimes the poor little bride is so young
that she cries while her beautiful plaits are being cut off.</p>
<p>"At times a quarrel begins between the two mothers: the bride's mother
sometimes insisting that her child's hair shall only be cut short and
not shaved, and she generally gets her way.</p>
<p>"Some brides do not mind being shaved, for they like the idea of wearing
the pretty coloured silk handkerchiefs.</p>
<p>"At nearly every wedding a table is spread for the poor, and I was
present at a wedding when more than a hundred poor men came regularly
for eight days, and the table was spread as bountifully for them as for
the other guests. Here in Palestine the poor share in the joys of their
richer brethren.</p>
<p>"When the eight days of Festival are over, the young couple usually
settle down close by or <SPAN name="Page_108" id="Page_108" />in one of their parents' homes, who give them a
room. A great deal of the happiness of young couples depends on the
character of the mother-in-law, for they have the power of making or
marring their happiness more than anyone else.</p>
<p>"Huldah told me that she would have been quite happy in her
mother-in-law (for she really was a good kind woman) if only she would
more often allow her to talk to her husband, 'and I do so like a talk
with him,' she said to me with a sigh, 'for he is so wise. When my
mother-in-law sleeps after the Sabbath dinner, we go into the next room
and we sit talking, and he tells me tales from the Talmud, and sometimes
reads aloud from it. I do so enjoy those Sabbath hours,' she continued,
'for I have only my bedroom which I can call my own, but I am not
allowed to be much in it,—the little time I have with my husband each
day makes me very happy, for I know he loves me dearly (although he does
not say so), for when he comes home his first word is for me,'</p>
<p>"'Sometimes, when my mother-in-law is in a good temper, she lets us eat
out of the same dish, and then he jokingly puts the daintiest bits on my
side; often when I wake in the mornings I find pinned to my pillow a few
words he has copied from the <i>Song of Songs</i>, put there before leaving
for the Synagogue.' Then Huldah added <SPAN name="Page_109" id="Page_109" />'After returning himself from the
Synagogue on Sabbath Eve, my dear husband always looks at me with a
loving smile when he reads that part where it says: ''The price of a
virtuous woman is far above rubies, the heart of her husband trusteth in
her.' 'Yes indeed,' she said, 'thanks be to God—I am a very happy wife,
and when God blesses us with children, my cup of joy will be very full.'</p>
<p>"And this child-wife of fifteen did indeed look very happy as she
spoke—and I, deep down in my heart, thought, 'What would they say to
such match-making in England and Western Europe,' and yet in Palestine
such marriages arranged by the parents are nearly always happy.</p>
<p>"I must close now, Your loving Millie."</p>
<p>When Mr Jacob had finished reading, some of his young listeners said
they thought it was a very foolish way to arrange marriages. One of them
remarked: "How could there be any love, if a couple rarely met each
other before marriage."</p>
<p>Another said: "For my part, I would never marry unless I felt sure that
I was in love with my husband to-be and that he also was in love with
me. Love is everything in life, <i>I</i> think."</p>
<p>Then said a middle-aged lady, much loved and respected by all the
listeners: "How often has many a marriage not turned out well, even when
as young people a husband and wife had <SPAN name="Page_110" id="Page_110" />a passionate love for each
other. The seed of love may be sown before or after marriage; but,
unless carefully cultivated during married life by both husband and
wife, through deeds of kindness and thoughtfulness and forbearance and
mutual sympathy and understanding, the tender plant may soon wither and
die. The old customs of our race, which this letter shows are still kept
up in Palestine and I believe in other parts where ghetto life still
obtains, if they are not carried to extremes, are, I think, very wise;
but, unfortunately, our people are very tempted to go to extremes, and a
good custom can thus be distorted and brought to ridicule."</p>
<p>"True, true," murmured some of the older people.</p>
<p>"In all things moderation and balance are safe guides to follow," said
Mr. Jacobs.</p>
<p>The next book will be all about Millie's love affairs and marriage and
her life, impressions, and tribulations in Palestine.<SPAN name="Page_111" id="Page_111" /> </p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<h2><SPAN name="APPENDIX" id="APPENDIX" /><SPAN name="Page_112" id="Page_112" />APPENDIX </h2>
<h4><SPAN name="Page_113" id="Page_113" />THE CELEBRATION OF THE JUBILEE OF ZORACH BARNETT</h4>
<p>(Translated from the <i>Palestine Daily Mail</i> of Friday, December 2nd,
1921).</p>
<p>Those who felt stirred to celebrate the jubilee of this illustrious old
pioneer did very well indeed. For a young man who leaves all his
business enterprises far behind him in London and who migrates to
Eretz-Israel over fifty years ago—at a time when Jaffe did not posses
even a Minyan foreign Jews; and at a time when the way from Jaffe to
Jerusalem was a very long and tedious one—aye, a way fraught with all
possible dangers, and moreover, teeming with robbers, a journey which
lasted three whole days, such a Jew is indeed entitled to some mark of
appreciation and respect.</p>
<p>A Jew who has worked for the re-building of our land for over fifty
consecutive years in which period he visited the lands of the Diaspora
fifteen times and all that he did and profited there was <SPAN name="Page_114" id="Page_114" />afterwards
invested in the re-building of Eretz-Israel such a Jew has indeed
merited to be praised even during his life-time.</p>
<p>A Jew who was one of the first to found the colony of Petah-Tikvah and
therefore merited that people in Jerusalem should mark him out as an
object of derision and scorn because he was a dreamer—a man who built
the first house in this Petah-Tikvah—who was one of the founders of the
"Me'ah Shearim in Jerusalem—who constructed perfect roads in Jaffe—who
founded Zionist Societies in the lands of the Diaspora at a time when
Zion did not occupy such a foremost part in the heart of the Jew—such a
Jew is indeed worthy that a monument of his splendid achievement be
erected for him even during his life-time!"</p>
<p>It must, moreover, be mentioned that Z. Barnett and his wife are one of
the remnant of those noble men who participated in that famous assembly
of Kattovitz—that noble gathering of illustrious men which can be
verily described as the Aurora as the Dawn of the conception of the
Restoration of the land of Israel.</p>
<p>The celebration took place on Sunday, November 27th, in the private
house of Mr. Barnett. Those who had assembled were many, in fact, there
were present representatives of every shade and section of Jewish
communal life in Palestine. Thus there came along Rabbis of all the
various <SPAN name="Page_115" id="Page_115" />congregations, various Jewish communal workers, heads of
colonies, teachers, business men and workpeople and even beggars who
came to enjoy the material blessings of this great national festivity.</p>
<p>Mr. Joseph Lipshitz opened the proceedings by explaining the importance
of this great red letter day for Mr. Barnett and then called upon Rabbi
Auerbach of Jerusalem who had come specially to take part in this
celebration. Rabbi Auerbach delivered a long Talmudical dissertation in
which he recited the great merits of the jubilant. He compared Z.
Barnett to a king, because he based himself on a Talmudic statement
concerning Omri which asserts that he who builds a little town or
village is worthy to be called a king. The learned Rabbi also emphasised
the importance of acquiring land in Palestine by many pithy remarks.
Then spoke the Rabbis: Joseph Ha-levi, Shneiur Lenskin, Joseph Arwatz
and Joseph Rabbi. All these testified to the great qualities of their
host, who besides being a great idealist was also a very practical man
too.</p>
<p>After the Rabbis, Mr. S. Nissim, chief of the colony of Petah-Tikvah
spoke. He narrated in a very realistic and eloquent way how that pioneer
Zorach Barnett came fifty years ago to build up the ruins of the land
and how he bought <SPAN name="Page_116" id="Page_116" />up the land of Petah-Tikvah, which was now a
flourishing colony, but which was then a howling desert wilderness, such
as only insane men could ever think of converting this into an
habitation of men. At the present day, thousands of pioneers are
flocking to the land, but they are only a continuation of the pioneering
of Z. Barnett and his stalwart companions. The speaker concluded by
blessing the jubilant that he should survive to see thousands of Jewish
Colonies in Palestine and tens of thousands of pioneers flocking here
from every part of the world.</p>
<p>Mr. I. Adler, chief representative of the Council at Jaffe, also spoke
on this great member of the Jewish community at Jaffe. Such men are
really a blessing to the whole of Israel; they are not only Banim (sons)
of the Jewish people, but also Bonim (builders).</p>
<p>Many were the letters and telegrams of congratulation received on this
occasion from various ranks of Jewish representatives in Palestine. The
private secretary of Sir Herbert Samuel wrote: "I am commanded by His
Excellency, the High Commissioner, to acknowledge your invitation to
partake in your celebration of the 27th inst. His Excellency, is,
however, restrained from accepting this invitation owing to the various
duties which occupy him at present. He sends you his blessing and hopes
that all <SPAN name="Page_117" id="Page_117" />your ambitions will be realised with, the greatest success."</p>
<p>The Chief Rabbi of Eretz-Israel, Rabbi A.I. Kook, wrote: "I should very
much have wished to be present at the occasion of the jubilee of my dear
and respected friend, who first trod upon this Holy soil over fifty
years ago and who has since then been building up the ruins of our land,
but, unfortunately, to my great pain, I am not able to realise this my
wish, owing to the present troubled state of the Jewish community.
Please accept my heartiest blessings for a happy old age, in which you
may verily see the re-birth of our People and of our land."</p>
<p>Rabbi Rabbinowitz wrote: "I bless our jubilant from the depths of my
heart. This occasion is not only a happy one for him, it is also for us.
This shows that though the enemies of re-building Palestine were, and
are still, many, Palestine is, nevertheless, steadily but surely being
rebuilt."</p>
<p>Mr. Diznoff, in the name of the Colony of Tel-Avis wrote: "On this great
occasion, we should like to say, that as you have merited to see that
the "howling desert" you have found, you have succeeded in creating into
a "Garden of Eden," thus may you merit to see the flourishing state of
the whole of Palestine."</p>
<p>Mr. Ephraim Blumenfeld wrote: "Though I <SPAN name="Page_118" id="Page_118" />should have very much have
liked to be present, yet my present bad state of health does not enable
me to do so. This is a happy moment for all lovers of Zion. May you
merit to see with your own eyes the restoration of Israel on its own
land."</p>
<p>Messages and telegrams were also received from the Yeshivah Me'ah
Shearim, Mr. D. Slutskin, from the scholars of the Yeshivah "Or Zoraiah"
of Jaffa and many synagogues. Also from Mr. Friedenberg of Jerusalem,
Mr. S. Tolkovsky, Dr. Eliash, from the Chief Rabbi of Alexandria, from
the "Old Aged" Home in Jaffe, from the Mizrachi, from Rabbi S.L. Shapiro
of Jerusalem, etc., etc.</p>
<p>At the request of the host, who is a British subject, a special prayer
was offered up for the Divine protection of King George the Fifth, and
also prayers in the name of R. Barnett for the health of the High
Commissioner, the Secretary, the leaders of the Zionist
Movement—Weitzman, Sokolov and Usishkin, for the Chief Rabbis of
Palestine and for the Rabbi Sonnenfeld, Rabbis Diskin, Epstein, etc.,
etc.</p>
<p>Mr. Barnett offered a certain sum in the name of each, and among the
numerous institutions to which he contributed were the following: Hebrew
Archaeological Society at Jerusalem, the building of a synagogue on the
site of <SPAN name="Page_119" id="Page_119" />the Old Temple Wall, the school for the blind, the poor of
Jaffe, the Home for Aged Jews, etc., etc.</p>
<p>Mr. Barnett was then enrolled in the Golden Book by those present. Great
indeed was the honour which R. Zorach Barnett and his wife received on
that day, but they were really worthy of it.</p>
<p>May theirs be an example to others!<SPAN name="Page_120" id="Page_120" /> </p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<h2><SPAN name="GLOSSARY" id="GLOSSARY" /><SPAN name="Page_121" id="Page_121" /><SPAN name="Page_122" id="Page_122" /><SPAN name="Page_123" id="Page_123" />GLOSSARY</h2>
<p><br/>
<span class="smcaps">Bar Cochba</span>. The heroic Jewish leader who led the
final revolt against the Romans in the year
A.D. 123.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Bar Mitzvah</span>. Confirmation of a boy at the age of
thirteen.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Bezel</span>. A cake made in the shape of a ring.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Bikkur-Holim</span>. Used to denote a Hospital.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Brocha</span>. A blessing or a thanksgiving used on various
occasions.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Challah</span>. White bread shaped as a twist used for the
Sabbath sanctification.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Chassid</span>. Pietist; a name assumed by a sect of Jews
mainly in Galicia established by "Baal Shemtob."<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Chazah</span>. A cantor, or Synagogue reader.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Chevra-Kadisha</span>. A burial society.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Cholent</span>. A dish of various vegetables and meat,
eaten on the Sabbath.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Chometz</span>. Leavened bread.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Erev</span>. Evening.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Hamantaschen</span>. A triangular cake eaten on Purim,
shaped according to the hat Haman was supposed to have worn.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Kaftan</span>. A long coat, worn by Jews in eastern
Europe.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Kiddush</span>. A blessing of sanctification over wine, <SPAN name="Page_124" id="Page_124" />
said at the ushering in of Sabbath and of Festivals.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Lag B'Omer</span>. The 33rd day of the seven weeks
between Passover and Pentecost: a students' holiday.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Mazzeltov</span>. A greeting signifying Good Luck.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Meah Sheorim</span>. A Hundred Gates: the name of a
suburb of Jerusalem.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Mincha</span>. The afternoon service.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Mitzvoth</span>. Acts of piety.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Para</span>. A Turkish coin of small value.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Pesach</span>. Passover.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Princess Sabbath</span>. A poetical expression, used for
welcoming the Sabbath.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Purim</span>. The Festival referred to in <i>The Book of Esther</i>.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Rav</span>. One learned in rabbinical lore.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Samovar</span>. A tea-urn.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Schpielers</span>. Strolling-players.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Schtramel</span>. Head-gear worn by Chassidim.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Seder</span>. The Service on the first two nights of Passover.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Sephardim</span>. Jews of Spanish or of Portuguese origin.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Shalach Manoth</span>. Gifts—especially used with reference
to distributions on Purim (vide <i>The Book of
Esther</i>).<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Shalom</span>. Peace.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Shiros</span>. Oil made from the sesame seed.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Shulchan Aruch</span>. The Jewish religious Code; compiled
in the middle of the 16th century and regarded as of high authority.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Shule</span>. Synagogue, derived from the German <i>Schule</i>
(school).<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Simhath Torah</span>. The festival of the Law, following <SPAN name="Page_125" id="Page_125" />
the Tabernacle festival when the reading of the
<i>Pentateuch</i> is completed and recommenced amid
great rejoicing.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Strudel</span>. A sweet pudding or cake.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Succah</span>. The tabernacle used as a dwelling on the
Feast of Tabernacles.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Tavelt</span>. Immersed; used in reference to the Ritual
Bath.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Torah</span>. The Law; specially referring to the Mosaic
code and its derivatives.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Tsennah Urennah</span>. A Jewish German translation
of the <i>Pentateuch</i>, embellished with legends for
the use of women.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Tsitsith</span>. Knotted fringes worn by men according to
Mosaic injunction on Tallith or praying-scarf, and
also used for a small four-cornered fringed garment
worn on the chest, under the coat.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Yemenites</span>. South-Arabian Jews.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Yeshibah</span>. A Jewish theological Academy.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Yom Kippur</span>. The Day of Atonement.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="smcaps">Yomtov</span>. Holy-day<br/></p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />