<SPAN name="h2H_4_0004" id="h2H_4_0004"></SPAN>
<h2> III </h2>
<p>The first thing that struck Sara Lee was the way she was saying her
nightly prayers in all sorts of odd places. In trains and in hotels and,
after sufficient interval, in the steamer. She prayed under these novel
circumstances to be made a better girl, and to do a lot of good over
there, and to be forgiven for hurting Harvey. She did this every night,
and then got into her narrow bed and studied French nouns—because she
had decided that there was no time for verbs—and numbers, which put
her to sleep.</p>
<p>"Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq," Sara Lee would begin, and go on, rocking
gently in her berth as the steamer rolled, "Vingt, vingt-et-un,
vingt-deux, trente, trente-et-un—" Her voice would die away. The
book on the floor and Harvey's picture on the tiny table, Sara Lee would
sleep. And as the ship trembled the light over her head would shine on
Harvey's ring, and it glistened like a tear.</p>
<p>One thing surprised her as she gradually met some of her fellow
passengers. She was not alone on her errand. Others there were on
board, young and old women, and men, too, who had felt the call of mercy
and were going, as ignorant as she, to help. As ignorant, but not so
friendless. Most of them were accredited somewhere. They had definite
objectives. But what was more alarming—they talked in big figures.
Great organizations were behind them. She heard of the rehabilitation
of Belgium, and portable hospitals, and millions of dollars, and Red
Cross trains.</p>
<p>Not once did Sara Lee hear of anything so humble as a soup kitchen. The
war was a vast thing, they would observe. It could only be touched by
great organizations. Individual effort was negligible.</p>
<p>Once she took her courage in her hands.</p>
<p>"But I should think," she said, "that even great organizations depend on
the—on individual efforts."</p>
<p>The portable hospital woman turned to her patronizingly.</p>
<p>"Certainly, my dear," she said. "But co�rdinated—co�rdinated."</p>
<p>It is hard to say just when the lights went down on Sara Lee's quiet
stage and the interlude began. Not on the steamer, for after three days
of discouragement and good weather they struck a storm; and Sara Lee's
fine frenzy died for a time, of nausea. She did not appear again until
the boat entered the Mersey, a pale and shaken angel of mercy, not at
all sure of her wings, and most terribly homesick.</p>
<p>That night Sara Lee made a friend, one that Harvey would have approved
of, an elderly Englishman named Travers. He was standing by the rail
in the rain looking out at the blinking signal lights on both sides of
the river. The ship for the first time had abandoned its policy of
darkness and the decks were bathed in light.</p>
<p>Overhead the yardarm blinkers were signaling, and directly over Sara
Lee's head a great white searchlight swept the water ahead. The wind
was blowing a gale, and the red and green lights of the pilot boat swung
in great arcs that seemed to touch the waves on either side.</p>
<p>Sara Lee stood beside Mr. Travers, for companionship only. He had
preserved a typically British aloofness during the voyage, and he had
never spoken to her. But there was something forlorn in Sara Lee that
night as she clutched her hat with both hands and stared out at the
shore lights. And if he had been silent during the voyage he had not
been deaf. So he knew why almost every woman on the ship was making
the voyage; but he knew nothing about Sara Lee.</p>
<p>"Bad night," said Mr. Travers.</p>
<p>"I was wondering what they are trying to do with that little boat."</p>
<p>Mr. Travers concealed the surprise of a man who was making his
seventy-second voyage.</p>
<p>"That's the pilot boat," he explained. "We are picking up a pilot."</p>
<p>"But," marveled Sara Lee rather breathlessly, "have we come all the way
without any pilot?"</p>
<p>He explained that to her, and showed her a few moments later how the
pilot came with incredible rapidity up the swaying rope ladder and over
the side.</p>
<p>To be honest, he had been watching for the pilot boat, not to see what
to Sara Lee was the thrilling progress of the pilot up the ladder, but
to get the newspapers he would bring on with him. It is perhaps
explanatory of the way things went for Sara Lee from that time on that
he quite forgot his newspapers.</p>
<p>The chairs were gone from the decks, preparatory to the morning landing,
so they walked about and Sara Lee at last told him her story—the
ladies of the Methodist Church, and the one hundred dollars a month she
was to have, outside of her traveling expenses, to found and keep going
a soup kitchen behind the lines.</p>
<p>"A hundred dollars a month," he said. "That's twenty pounds. Humph!
Good God!"</p>
<p>But this last was under his breath.</p>
<p>Then she told him of Mabel Andrews' letter, and at last read it to him.
He listened attentively. "Of course," she said when she had put the
letter back into her bag, "I can't feed a lot, even with soup. But if I
only help a few, it's worth doing, isn't it?"</p>
<p>"Very much worth doing," he said gravely. "I suppose you are not, by
any chance, going to write a weekly article for one of your newspapers
about what you are doing?"</p>
<p>"I hadn't thought of it. Do you think I should?"</p>
<p>Quite unexpectedly Mr. Travers patted her shoulder.</p>
<p>"My dear child," he said, "now and then I find somebody who helps to
revive my faith in human nature. Thank you."</p>
<p>Sara Lee did not understand. The touch on the shoulder had made her
think suddenly of Uncle James, and her chin quivered.</p>
<p>"I'm just a little frightened," she said in a small voice.</p>
<p>"Twenty pounds!" repeated Mr. Travers to himself. "Twenty pounds!"
And aloud: "Of course you speak French?"</p>
<p>"Very little. I've had six lessons, and I can count—some."</p>
<p>The sense of unreality which the twenty pounds had roused in Mr. Travers'
cautious British mind grew. No money, no French, no objective, just a
great human desire to be useful in her own small way—this was a new type
to him. What a sporting chance this frail bit of a girl was taking! And
he noticed now something that had escaped him before—a dauntlessness,
a courage of the spirit rather than of the body, that was in the very
poise of her head.</p>
<p>"I'm not afraid about the language," she was saying. "I have a phrase
book. And a hungry man, maybe sick or wounded, can understand a bowl of
soup in any language, I should think. And I can cook!"</p>
<p>It was a perplexed and thoughtful Mr. Travers who sipped his
Scotch-and-soda in the smoking room before retiring, he took the problem
to bed with him and woke up in the night saying: "Twenty pounds!
Good God!"</p>
<p>In the morning they left the ship. He found Sara Lee among the K's,
waiting to have her passport examined, and asked her where she was
stopping in London. She had read somewhere of Claridge's—in a novel
probably.</p>
<p>"I shouldn't advise Claridge's," he said, reflecting rather grimly on
the charges of that very exclusive hotel. "Suppose you let me make a
suggestion."</p>
<p>So he wrote out the name of a fine old English house on Trafalgar
Square, where she could stay until she went to France. There would be
the matter of a passport to cross the Channel. It might take a day or
two. Perhaps he could help her. He would give himself the pleasure of
calling on her very soon.</p>
<p>Sara Lee got on the train and rode up to London. She said to herself
over and over: "This is England. I am really in England." But it did
not remove the sense of unreality. Even the English grass, bright green
in midwinter, only added to the sense of unreality.</p>
<p>She tried, sitting in the strange train with its small compartments, to
think of Harvey. She looked at her ring and tried to recall some of
the tender things he had said to her. But Harvey eluded her. She could
not hear his voice. And when she tried to see him it was Harvey of the
wide face and the angry eyes of the last days that she saw.</p>
<p>Morley's comforted her. The man at the door had been there for forty
years, and was beyond surprise. He had her story in twenty-four hours,
and in forty-eight he was her slave. The elderly chambermaid mothered
her, and failed to report that Sara Lee was doing a small washing in
her room and had pasted handkerchiefs over the ancient walnut of her
wardrobe.</p>
<p>"Going over, are you?" she said. "Dear me, what courage you've got,
miss! They tell me things is horrible over there."</p>
<p>"That's why I'm going," replied Sara Lee, and insisted on helping to
make up the bed.</p>
<p>"It's easier when two do it," she said casually.</p>
<p>Mr. Travers put in a fretful twenty-four hours before he came to see her.
He lunched at Brooks', and astounded an elderly member of the House by
putting her problem to him.</p>
<p>"A young girl!" exclaimed the M. P. "Why, deuce take it, it's no place
for a young girl."</p>
<p>"An American," explained Mr. Travers uncomfortably. "She's perfectly
able to look after herself."</p>
<p>"Probably a correspondent in disguise. They'll go to any lengths."</p>
<p>"She's not a correspondent."</p>
<p>"Let her stay in Boulogne. There's work there in the hospitals."</p>
<p>"She's not a nurse. She's a—well, she's a cook. Or so she says."</p>
<p>The M. P. stared at Mr. Travers, and Mr. Travers stared back defiantly.</p>
<p>"What in the name of God is she going to cook?"</p>
<p>"Soup," said Mr. Travers in a voice of suppressed irritation. "She's
got a little money, and she wants to establish a soup kitchen behind
the Belgian trenches on a line of communication. I suppose," he
continued angrily, "even you will admit that the Belgian Army needs all
the soup it can get."</p>
<p>"I don't approve of women near the lines."</p>
<p>"Neither do I. But I'm exceedingly glad that a few of them have the
courage to go there."</p>
<p>"What's she going to make soup out of?"</p>
<p>"I'm not a cooking expert. But I know her and I fancy she'll manage."</p>
<p>It ended by the M. P. agreeing to use his influence with the War Office
to get Sara Lee to France. He was very unwilling. The spy question was
looming large those days. Even the Red Cross had unwittingly spread its
protection over more than one German agent. The lines were being
drawn in.</p>
<p>"I may possibly get her to France. I don't know, of course," he said in
that ungracious tone in which an Englishman often grants a favor which
he will go to any amount of trouble to do. "After that it's up to her."</p>
<p>Mr. Travers reflected rather grimly that after that it was apparently up
to him.</p>
<p>Sara Lee sat in her room at Morley's Hotel and looked out at the life of
London—policemen with chin straps; schoolboys in high silk hats and
Eton suits, the hats generally in disreputable condition; clerks dressed
as men at home dressed for Easter Sunday church; and men in uniforms.
Only a fair sprinkling of these last, in those early days. On the first
afternoon there was a military funeral. A regiment of Scots, in kilts,
came swinging down from the church of St. Martin in the Fields, tall and
wonderful men, grave and very sad. Behind them, on a gun carriage, was
the body of their officer, with the British flag over the casket and his
sword and cap on the top.</p>
<p>Sara Lee cried bitterly. It was not until they had gone that she
remembered that Harvey had always called the Scots men in women's
petticoats. She felt a thrill of shame for him, and no amount of
looking at his picture seemed to help.</p>
<p>Mr. Travers called the second afternoon and was received by August at
the door as an old friend.</p>
<p>"She's waiting in there," he said. "Very nice young lady, sir. Very
kind to everybody."</p>
<p>Mr. Travers found her by a window looking out. There was a recruiting
meeting going on in Trafalgar Square, the speakers standing on the
monument. Now and then there was a cheer, and some young fellow
sheepishly offered himself. Sara Lee was having a mad desire to go
over and offer herself too. Because, she reflected, she had been in
London almost two days, and she was as far from France as ever. Not
knowing, of course, that three months was a fair time for the slow
methods then in vogue.</p>
<p>There was a young man in the room, but Sara Lee had not noticed him.
He was a tall, very blond young man, in a dark-blue Belgian uniform with
a quaint cap which allowed a gilt tassel to drop over his forehead. He
sat on a sofa, curling up the ends of a very small mustache, his legs,
in cavalry boots, crossed and extending a surprising distance beyond
the sofa.</p>
<p>The lights were up now, beyond the back drop, the stage darkened. A
new scene with a vengeance, a scene laid in strange surroundings, with
men, whole men and wounded men and spying men—and Sara Lee and this
young Belgian, whose name was Henri and whose other name, because of
what he suffered and what he did, we may not know.</p>
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