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Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 04

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<SPAN name="Page_642" id="Page_642">[Pg 642]</SPAN></span></p> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <h2><SPAN name="A_MODERN_ADVANTAGE" id="A_MODERN_ADVANTAGE"></SPAN>A MODERN ADVANTAGE</h2> <h3>BY CHARLOTTE BECKER</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">One morning, when the sun shone bright<br /></span> <span class="i2">And all the earth was fair,<br /></span> <span class="i0">I met a little city child,<br /></span> <span class="i2">Whose ravings rent the air.<br /></span> </div><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">"I lucidly can penetrate<br /></span> <span class="i2">The Which," I heard him say,&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">"The How is, wonderfully, come<br /></span> <span class="i2">To clear the limpid way.<br /></span> </div><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">"The sentence, rarely, rose and fell<br /></span> <span class="i2">From ceiling to the floor;<br /></span> <span class="i0">Her words were spotlessly arranged,<br /></span> <span class="i2">She gave me, strangely, more."<br /></span> </div><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">"What troubles you, my little man?"<br /></span> <span class="i2">I dared to ask him then,&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">He fixed me with a subtle stare,<br /></span> <span class="i2">And said, "Most clearly, when<br /></span> </div><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">"You see I'm occupied, it's rude<br /></span> <span class="i2">To question of my aims&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">I'm going to the adverb school<br /></span> <span class="i2">Of Mr. Henry James!"<br /></span> <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_643" id="Page_643">[Pg 643]</SPAN></span></div></div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <h2><SPAN name="THE_RAGGEDY_MAN" id="THE_RAGGEDY_MAN"></SPAN>THE RAGGEDY MAN</h2> <h3>BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">O the Raggedy Man! He works fer Pa;<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' he's the goodest man ever you saw!<br /></span> <span class="i0">He comes to our house every day,<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' waters the horses, an' feeds 'em hay;<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' he opens the shed&mdash;an' we all ist laugh<br /></span> <span class="i0">When he drives out our little old wobble-ly calf;<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' nen&mdash;ef our hired girl says he can&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">He milks the cow fer 'Lizabuth Ann.&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i2">Aint he a' awful good Raggedy Man?<br /></span> <span class="i4">Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man!<br /></span> </div><div class="stanza"> <span class="i2">W'y, The Raggedy Man&mdash;he's ist so good<br /></span> <span class="i0">He splits the kindlin' an' chops the wood;<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' nen he spades in our garden, too,<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' does most things 'at <i>boys</i> can't do!&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">He clumbed clean up in our big tree<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' shooked a' apple down fer me&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' nother'n, too, fer 'Lizabuth Ann&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' nother'n, too, fer The Raggedy Man.&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i2">Aint he a' awful kind Raggedy Man?<br /></span> <span class="i4">Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man!<br /></span> </div><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">An' The Raggedy Man, he knows most rhymes<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' tells 'em, ef I be good, sometimes:<br /></span> <span class="i0">Knows 'bout Giunts, an' Griffuns, an' Elves,<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' the Squidgicum-Squees 'at swallers therselves!<br /></span><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_644" id="Page_644">[Pg 644]</SPAN></span> <span class="i0">An', wite by the pump in our pasture-lot,<br /></span> <span class="i0">He showed me the hole 'at the Wunks is got,<br /></span> <span class="i0">'At lives 'way deep in the ground, an' can<br /></span> <span class="i0">Turn into me, er 'Lizabuth Ann!<br /></span> <span class="i2">Aint he a funny old Raggedy Man?<br /></span> <span class="i4">Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man!<br /></span> </div><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">The Raggedy Man&mdash;one time when he<br /></span> <span class="i0">Wuz makin' a little bow-'n'-orry fer me,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Says "When <i>you're</i> big like your Pa is,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Air you go' to keep a fine store like his&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' be a rich merchunt&mdash;an' wear fine clothes?&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i0">Er what <i>air</i> you go' to be, goodness knows!"<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' nen he laughed at 'Lizabuth Ann,<br /></span> <span class="i0">An' I says "'M go' to be a Raggedy Man!&mdash;<br /></span> <span class="i2">I'm ist go' to be a nice Raggedy Man!"<br /></span> <span class="i4">Raggedy! Raggedy! Raggedy Man!<br /></span> <span class='pagenum'>
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