<SPAN name="III"></SPAN>
<h2>III</h2>
<h2>THE BRAIN AS A GENTLEMAN-AT-LARGE</h2>
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<p>It is not as if, in this business of daily
living, we were seriously hampered by
ignorance either as to the results which
we ought to obtain, or as to the general
means which we must employ in order to
obtain them. With all our absorption
in the mere preliminaries to living, and
all our carelessness about living itself, we
arrive pretty soon at a fairly accurate
notion of what satisfactory living is, and
we perceive with some clearness the
methods necessary to success. I have
pictured the man who wakes up in the
middle of the night and sees the horrid
semi-fiasco of his life. But let me picture
the man who wakes up refreshed early
on a fine summer morning and looks into
his mind with the eyes of hope and
experience, not experience and despair.
That man will pass a delightful half-hour
in thinking upon the scheme of
the universe as it affects himself. He
is quite clear that contentment depends
on his own acts, and that no power
can prevent him from performing those
acts. He plans everything out, and
before he gets up he knows precisely
what he must and will do in certain
foreseen crises and junctures. He sincerely
desires to live efficiently—who
would wish to make a daily mess of
existence?—and he knows the way to
realise the desire.</p>
<p>And yet, mark me! That man will not
have been an hour on his feet on this
difficult earth before the machine has
unmistakably gone wrong: the machine
which was designed to do this work
of living, which is capable of doing it
thoroughly well, but which has not been
put into order! What is the use of consulting
the map of life and tracing the
itinerary, and getting the machine out of
the shed, and making a start, if half the
nuts are loose, or the steering pillar
is twisted, or there is no petrol in the
tank? (Having asked this question, I will
drop the mechanico-vehicular comparison,
which is too rough and crude for the
delicacy of the subject.) Where has the
human machine gone wrong? It has gone
wrong in the brain. What, is he 'wrong
in the head'? Most assuredly, most
strictly. He knows—none better—that
when his wife employs a particular tone
containing ten grains of asperity, and he
replies in a particular tone containing
eleven grains, the consequences will be
explosive. He knows, on the other hand,
that if he replies in a tone containing only
one little drop of honey, the consequences
may not be unworthy of two reasonable
beings. He knows this. His brain is
fully instructed. And lo! his brain,
while arguing that women are really too
absurd (as if that was the point), is sending
down orders to the muscles of the
throat and mouth which result in at least
eleven grains of asperity, and conjugal
relations are endangered for the day. He
didn't want to do it. His desire was not
to do it. He despises himself for doing
it. But his brain was not in working
order. His brain ran away—'raced'—on
its own account, against reason, against
desire, against morning resolves—and
there he is!</p>
<p>That is just one example, of the simplest
and slightest. Examples can be multiplied.
The man may be a young man
whose immediate future depends on his
passing an examination—an examination
which he is capable of passing 'on his
head,' which nothing can prevent him
from passing if only his brain will not be
so absurd as to give orders to his legs to
walk out of the house towards the tennis
court instead of sending them upstairs to
the study; if only, having once safely
lodged him in the study, his brain will
devote itself to the pages of books instead
of dwelling on the image of a nice girl—not
at all like other girls. Or the
man may be an old man who will
live in perfect comfort if only his brain
will not interminably run round and
round in a circle of grievances, apprehensions,
and fears which no amount
of contemplation can destroy or even
ameliorate.</p>
<p>The brain, the brain—that is the seat
of trouble! 'Well,' you say, 'of course
it is. We all know that!' We don't
act as if we did, anyway. 'Give us more
brains, Lord!' ejaculated a great writer.
Personally, I think he would have been
wiser if he had asked first for the power
to keep in order such brains as we have.
We indubitably possess quite enough
brains, quite as much as we can handle.
The supreme muddlers of living are often
people of quite remarkable intellectual
faculty, with a quite remarkable gift of
being wise for others. The pity is that
our brains have a way of 'wandering,'
as it is politely called. Brain-wandering
is indeed now recognised as a specific
disease. I wonder what you, O business
man with an office in Ludgate Circus,
would say to your office-boy, whom you
had dispatched on an urgent message to
Westminster, and whom you found larking
around Euston Station when you
rushed to catch your week-end train.
'Please, sir, I started to go to Westminster,
but there's something funny in
my limbs that makes me go up all manner
of streets. I can't help it, sir!' 'Can't
you?' you would say. 'Well, you had
better go and be somebody else's office-boy.'
Your brain is something worse
than that office-boy, something more
insidiously potent for evil.</p>
<p>I conceive the brain of the average
well-intentioned man as possessing the
tricks and manners of one of those gentlemen-at-large
who, having nothing very
urgent to do, stroll along and offer their
services gratis to some shorthanded work
of philanthropy. They will commonly
demoralise and disorganise the business
conduct of an affair in about a fortnight.
They come when they like; they go when
they like. Sometimes they are exceedingly
industrious and obedient, but then
there is an even chance that they will
shirk and follow their own sweet will.
And they mustn't be spoken to, or pulled
up—for have they not kindly volunteered,
and are they not giving their days for
naught! These persons are the bane of
the enterprises in which they condescend
to meddle. Now, there is a vast deal too
much of the gentleman-at-large about
one's brain. One's brain has no right
whatever to behave as a gentleman-at-large:
but it in fact does. It forgets;
it flatly ignores orders; at the critical
moment when pressure is highest, it simply
lights a cigarette and goes out for a walk.
And we meekly sit down under this
behaviour! 'I didn't feel like stewing,'
says the young man who, against his
wish, will fail in his examination. 'The
words were out of my mouth before I
knew it,' says the husband whose wife is
a woman. 'I couldn't get any inspiration
to-day,' says the artist. 'I can't
resist Stilton,' says the fellow who is
dying of greed. 'One can't help one's
thoughts,' says the old worrier. And
this last really voices the secret excuse of
all five.</p>
<p>And you all say to me: 'My brain is
myself. How can I alter myself? I
was born like that.' In the first place
you were not born 'like that,' you have
lapsed to that. And in the second place
your brain is not yourself. It is only a
part of yourself, and not the highest seat
of authority. Do you love your mother,
wife, or children with your brain? Do
you desire with your brain? Do you, in
a word, ultimately and essentially <i>live</i>
with your brain? No. Your brain is
an instrument. The proof that it is an
instrument lies in the fact that, when
extreme necessity urges, <i>you</i> can command
your brain to do certain things,
and it does them. The first of the two
great principles which underlie the efficiency
of the human machine is this:
<i>The brain is a servant, exterior to the
central force of the Ego</i>. If it is out of
control the reason is not that it is uncontrollable,
but merely that its discipline
has been neglected. The brain can be
trained, as the hand and eye can be
trained; it can be made as obedient as
a sporting dog, and by similar methods.
In the meantime the indispensable preparation
for brain discipline is to form
the habit of regarding one's brain as an
instrument exterior to one's self, like a
tongue or a foot.</p>
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