<h2><SPAN name="link2HCH0031" id="link2HCH0031"></SPAN> Chapter XXXI. Mademoiselle de la Valliere’s Pocket-Handkerchief.</h2>
<p>Madame was not bad-hearted—she was only hasty and impetuous. The king was
not imprudent—he was simply in love. Hardly had they entered into this
compact, which terminated in La Valliere’s recall, when they both sought
to make as much as they could by their bargain. The king wished to see La
Valliere every moment of the day, while Madame, who was sensible of the
king’s annoyance ever since he had so entreated her, would not relinquish
her revenge on La Valliere without a contest. She planted every conceivable
difficulty in the king’s path; he was, in fact, obliged, in order to get
a glimpse of La Valliere, to be exceedingly devoted in his attentions to his
sister-in-law, and this, indeed, was Madame’s plan of policy. As she had
chosen some one to second her efforts, and as this person was our old friend
Montalais, the king found himself completely hemmed in every time he paid
Madame a visit; he was surrounded, and was never left a moment alone. Madame
displayed in her conversation a charm of manner and brilliancy of wit which
dazzled everybody. Montalais followed her, and soon rendered herself perfectly
insupportable to the king, which was, in fact, the very thing she expected
would happen. She then set Malicorne at the king, who found means of informing
his majesty that there was a young person belonging to the court who was
exceedingly miserable; and on the king inquiring who this person was, Malicorne
replied that it was Mademoiselle de Montalais. To this the king answered that
it was perfectly just that a person should be unhappy when she rendered others
so. Whereupon Malicorne explained how matters stood; for he had received his
directions from Montalais. The king began to open his eyes; he remarked that,
as soon as he made his appearance, Madame made hers too; that she remained in
the corridors until after he had left; that she accompanied him back to his own
apartments, fearing that he might speak in the ante-chambers to one of her
maids of honor. One evening she went further still. The king was seated,
surrounded by the ladies who were present, and holding in his hand, concealed
by his lace ruffle, a small note which he wished to slip into La
Valliere’s hand. Madame guessed both his intention and the letter too. It
was difficult to prevent the king going wherever he pleased, and yet it was
necessary to prevent his going near La Valliere, or speaking to her, as by so
doing he could let the note fall into her lap behind her fan, or into her
pocket-handkerchief. The king, who was also on the watch, suspected that a
snare was being laid for him. He rose and pushed his chair, without
affectation, near Mademoiselle de Chatillon, with whom he began to talk in a
light tone. They were amusing themselves making rhymes; from Mademoiselle de
Chatillon he went to Montalais, and then to Mademoiselle de Tonnay-Charente.
And thus, by this skillful maneuver, he found himself seated opposite to La
Valliere, whom he completely concealed. Madame pretended to be greatly
occupied, altering a group of flowers that she was working in tapestry. The
king showed the corner of his letter to La Valliere, and the latter held out
her handkerchief with a look that signified, “Put the letter
inside.” Then, as the king had placed his own handkerchief upon his
chair, he was adroit enough to let it fall on the ground, so that La Valliere
slipped her handkerchief on the chair. The king took it up quietly, without any
one observing what he did, placed the letter within it, and returned the
handkerchief to the place he had taken it from. There was only just time for La
Valliere to stretch out her hand to take hold of the handkerchief with its
valuable contents.</p>
<p>But Madame, who had observed everything that had passed, said to Mademoiselle
de Chatillon, “Chatillon, be good enough to pick up the king’s
handkerchief, if you please; it has fallen on the carpet.”</p>
<p>The young girl obeyed with the utmost precipitation, the king having moved from
his seat, and La Valliere being in no little degree nervous and confused.</p>
<p>“Ah! I beg your majesty’s pardon,” said Mademoiselle de
Chatillon; “you have two handkerchiefs, I perceive.”</p>
<p>And the king was accordingly obliged to put into his pocket La Valliere’s
handkerchief as well as his own. He certainly gained that souvenir of Louise,
who lost, however, a copy of verses which had cost the king ten hours’
hard labor, and which, as far as he was concerned, was perhaps as good as a
long poem. It would be impossible to describe the king’s anger and La
Valliere’s despair; but shortly afterwards a circumstance occurred which
was more than remarkable. When the king left, in order to retire to his own
apartments, Malicorne, informed of what had passed, one can hardly tell how,
was waiting in the ante-chamber. The ante-chambers of the Palais Royal are
naturally very dark, and, in the evening, they were but indifferently lighted.
Nothing pleased the king more than this dim light. As a general rule, love,
whose mind and heart are constantly in a blaze, contemns all light, except the
sunshine of the soul. And so the ante-chamber was dark; a page carried a torch
before the king, who walked on slowly, greatly annoyed at what had recently
occurred. Malicorne passed close to the king, almost stumbled against him in
fact, and begged his forgiveness with the profoundest humility; but the king,
who was in an exceedingly ill-temper, was very sharp in his reproof to
Malicorne, who disappeared as soon and as quietly as he possibly could. Louis
retired to rest, having had a misunderstanding with the queen; and the next
day, as soon as he entered the cabinet, he wished to have La Valliere’s
handkerchief in order to press his lips to it. He called his valet.</p>
<p>“Fetch me,” he said, “the coat I wore yesterday evening, but
be very sure you do not touch anything it may contain.”</p>
<p>The order being obeyed, the king himself searched the pocket of the coat; he
found only one handkerchief, and that his own; La Valliere’s had
disappeared. Whilst busied with all kinds of conjectures and suspicions, a
letter was brought to him from La Valliere; it ran thus:</p>
<p>“How good and kind of you to have sent me those beautiful verses; how
full of ingenuity and perseverance your affection is; how is it possible to
help loving you so dearly!”</p>
<p>“What does this mean?” thought the king; “there must be some
mistake. Look well about,” said he to the valet, “for a
pocket-handkerchief must be in one of my pockets; and if you do not find it, or
if you have touched it—” He reflected for a moment. To make a state
matter of the loss of the handkerchief would be to act absurdly, and he
therefore added, “There was a letter of some importance inside the
handkerchief, which had somehow got among the folds of it.”</p>
<p>“Sire,” said the valet, “your majesty had only one
handkerchief, and that is it.”</p>
<p>“True, true,” replied the king, setting his teeth hard together.
“Oh, poverty, how I envy you! Happy is the man who can empty his own
pockets of letters and handkerchiefs!”</p>
<p>He read La Valliere’s letter over again, endeavoring to imagine in what
conceivable way his verses could have reached their destination. There was a
postscript to the letter:</p>
<p>“I send you back by your messenger this reply, so unworthy of what you
sent me.”</p>
<p>“So far so good; I shall find out something now,” he said
delightedly. “Who is waiting, and who brought me this letter?”</p>
<p>“M. Malicorne,” replied the <i>valet de chambre</i>, timidly.</p>
<p>“Desire him to come in.”</p>
<p>Malicorne entered.</p>
<p>“You come from Mademoiselle de la Valliere?” said the king, with a
sigh.</p>
<p>“Yes, sire.”</p>
<p>“And you took Mademoiselle de la Valliere something from me?”</p>
<p>“I, sire?”</p>
<p>“Yes, you.”</p>
<p>“Oh, no, sire.”</p>
<p>“Mademoiselle de la Valliere says so, distinctly.”</p>
<p>“Oh, sire, Mademoiselle de la Valliere is mistaken.”</p>
<p>The king frowned. “What jest is this?” he said; “explain
yourself. Why does Mademoiselle de la Valliere call you my messenger? What did
you take to that lady? Speak, monsieur, and quickly.”</p>
<p>“Sire, I merely took Mademoiselle de la Valliere a pocket-handkerchief,
that was all.”</p>
<p>“A handkerchief,—what handkerchief?”</p>
<p>“Sire, at the very moment when I had the misfortune to stumble against
your majesty yesterday—a misfortune which I shall deplore to the last day
of my life, especially after the dissatisfaction which you exhibited—I
remained, sire, motionless with despair, your majesty being at too great a
distance to hear my excuses, when I saw something white lying on the
ground.”</p>
<p>“Ah!” said the king.</p>
<p>“I stooped down,—it was a pocket-handkerchief. For a moment I had
an idea that when I stumbled against your majesty I must have been the cause of
the handkerchief falling from your pocket; but as I felt it all over very
respectfully, I perceived a cipher at one of the corners, and, on looking at it
closely, I found that it was Mademoiselle de la Valliere’s cipher. I
presumed that on her way to Madame’s apartment in the earlier part of the
evening she had let her handkerchief fall, and I accordingly hastened to
restore it to her as she was leaving; and that is all I gave to Mademoiselle de
la Valliere, I entreat your majesty to believe.” Malicorne’s manner
was so simple, so full of contrition, and marked with such extreme humility,
that the king was greatly amused in listening to him. He was as pleased with
him for what he had done as if he had rendered him the greatest service.</p>
<p>“This is the second fortunate meeting I have had with you,
monsieur,” he said; “you may count upon my good intentions.”</p>
<p>The plain and sober truth was, that Malicorne had picked the king’s
pocket of the handkerchief as dexterously as any of the pickpockets of the good
city of Paris could have done. Madame never knew of this little incident, but
Montalais gave La Valliere some idea of the manner in which it had really
happened, and La Valliere afterwards told the king, who laughed exceedingly at
it and pronounced Malicorne to be a first rate politician. Louis XIV. was
right, and it is well known that he was tolerably well acquainted with human
nature.</p>
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