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<h2> II. HOW KING VALOROSO GOT THE CROWN, AND PRINCE GIGLIO WENT WITHOUT </h2>
<p>Paflagonia, ten or twenty thousand years ago, appears to have been one of
those kingdoms where the laws of succession were not settled; for when
King Savio died, leaving his brother Regent of the kingdom, and guardian
of Savio’s orphan infant, this unfaithful regent took no sort of regard of
the late monarch’s will; had himself proclaimed sovereign of Paflagonia
under the title of King Valoroso XXIV., had a most splendid coronation,
and ordered all the nobles of the kingdom to pay him homage. So long as
Valoroso gave them plenty of balls at Court, plenty of money and lucrative
places, the Paflagonian nobility did not care who was king; and as for the
people, in those early times, they were equally indifferent. The Prince
Giglio, by reason of his tender age at his royal father’s death, did not
feel the loss of his crown and empire. As long as he had plenty of toys
and sweetmeats, a holiday five times a week and a horse and gun to go out
shooting when he grew a little older, and, above all, the company of his
darling cousin, the King’s only child, poor Giglio was perfectly
contented; nor did he envy his uncle the royal robes and sceptre, the
great hot uncomfortable throne of state, and the enormous cumbersome crown
in which that monarch appeared from morning till night. King Valoroso’s
portrait has been left to us; and I think you will agree with me that he
must have been sometimes RATHER TIRED of his velvet, and his diamonds, and
his ermine, and his grandeur. I shouldn’t like to sit in that stifling
robe with such a thing as that on my head.</p>
<p>No doubt, the Queen must have been lovely in her youth; for though she
grew rather stout in after life, yet her features, as shown in her
portrait, are certainly PLEASING. If she was fond of flattery, scandal,
cards, and fine clothes, let us deal gently with her infirmities, which,
after all, may be no greater than our own. She was kind to her nephew; and
if she had any scruples of conscience about her husband’s taking the young
Prince’s crown, consoled herself by thinking that the King, though a
usurper, was a most respectable man, and that at his death Prince Giglio
would be restored to his throne, and share it with his cousin, whom he
loved so fondly.</p>
<p>The Prime Minister was Glumboso, an old statesman, who most cheerfully
swore fidelity to King Valoroso, and in whose hands the monarch left all
the affairs of his kingdom. All Valoroso wanted was plenty of money,
plenty of hunting, plenty of flattery, and as little trouble as possible.
As long as he had his sport, this monarch cared little how his people paid
for it: he engaged in some wars, and of course the Paflagonian newspapers
announced that he had gained prodigious victories: he had statues erected
to himself in every city of the empire; and of course his pictures placed
everywhere, and in all the print-shops: he was Valoroso the Magnanimous,
Valoroso the Victorious, Valoroso the Great, and so forth;—for even
in these early times courtiers and people knew how to flatter.</p>
<p>This royal pair had one only child, the Princess Angelica, who, you may be
sure, was a paragon in the courtiers’ eyes, in her parents’, and in her
own. It was said she had the longest hair, the largest eyes, the slimmest
waist, the smallest foot, and the most lovely complexion of any young lady
in the Paflagonian dominions. Her accomplishments were announced to be
even superior to her beauty; and governesses used to shame their idle
pupils by telling them what Princess Angelica could do. She could play the
most difficult pieces of music at sight. She could answer any one of
Mangnall’s Questions. She knew every date in the history of Paflagonia,
and every other country. She knew French, English, Italian, German,
Spanish, Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Cappadocian, Samothracian, Aegean, and Crim
Tartar. In a word, she was a most accomplished young creature; and her
governess and lady-in-waiting was the severe Countess Gruffanuff.</p>
<p>Would you not fancy, from this picture, that Gruffanuff must have been a
person of highest birth? She looks so haughty that I should have thought
her a princess at the very least, with a pedigree reaching as far back as
the Deluge. But this lady was no better born than many other ladies who
give themselves airs; and all sensible people laughed at her absurd
pretensions. The fact is, she had been maid-servant to the Queen when Her
Majesty was only Princess, and her husband had been head footman; but
after his death or DISAPPEARANCE, of which you shall hear presently, this
Mrs. Gruffanuff, by flattering, toadying, and wheedling her royal
mistress, became a favourite with the Queen (who was rather a weak woman),
and Her Majesty gave her a title, and made her nursery governess to the
Princess.</p>
<p>And now I must tell you about the Princess’s learning and accomplishments,
for which she had such a wonderful character. Clever Angelica certainly
was, but as IDLE as POSSIBLE. Play at sight, indeed! she could play one or
two pieces, and pretend that she had never seen them before; she could
answer half a dozen Mangnall’s Questions; but then you must take care to
ask the RIGHT ones. As for her languages, she had masters in plenty, but I
doubt whether she knew more than a few phrases in each, for all her
presence; and as for her embroidery and her drawing, she showed beautiful
specimens, it is true, but WHO DID THEM?</p>
<p>This obliges me to tell the truth, and to do so I must go back ever so
far, and tell you about the FAIRY BLACKSTICK.</p>
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