<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0016" id="link2H_4_0016"></SPAN></p>
<br/>
<h2> XIV. WHAT BECAME OF GIGLIO </h2>
<p>The idea of marrying such an old creature as Gruffanuff frightened Prince
Giglio so, that he ran up to his room, packed his trunks, fetched in a
couple of porters, and was off to the diligence office in a twinkling.</p>
<p>It was well that he was so quick in his operations, did not dawdle over
his luggage, and took the early coach, for as soon as the mistake about
Prince Bulbo was found out, that cruel Glumboso sent up a couple of
policemen to Prince Giglio’s room, with orders that he should be carried
to Newgate, and his head taken off before twelve o’clock. But the coach
was out of the Paflagonian dominions before two o’clock; and I dare say
the express that was sent after Prince Giglio did not ride very quick, for
many people in Paflagonia had a regard for Giglio, as the son of their old
sovereign; a Prince who, with all his weaknesses, was very much better
than his brother, the usurping, lazy, careless, passionate, tyrannical,
reigning monarch. That Prince busied himself with the balls, fetes,
masquerades, hunting-parties, and so forth, which he thought proper to
give on occasion of his daughter’s marriage to Prince Bulbo; and let us
trust was not sorry in his own heart that his brother’s son had escaped
the scaffold.</p>
<p>It was very cold weather, and the snow was on the ground, and Giglio, who
gave his name as simple Mr. Giles, was very glad to get a comfortable
place in the coupe of the diligence, where he sat with the conductor and
another gentleman. At the first stage from Blombodinga, as they stopped to
change horses, there came up to the diligence a very ordinary,
vulgar-looking woman, with a bag under her arm, who asked for a place. All
the inside places were taken, and the young woman was informed that if she
wished to travel, she must go upon the roof; and the passenger inside with
Giglio (a rude person, I should think), put his head out of the window,
and said, ‘Nice weather for travelling outside! I wish you a pleasant
journey, my dear.’ The poor woman coughed very much, and Giglio pitied
her. ‘I will give up my place to her,’ says he, ‘rather than she should
travel in the cold air with that horrid cough.’ On which the vulgar
traveller said, ‘YOU’D keep her warm, I am sure, if it’s a MUFF she
wants.’ On which Giglio pulled his nose, boxed his ears, hit him in the
eye, and gave this vulgar person a warning never to call him MUFF again.</p>
<p>Then he sprang up gaily on to the roof of the diligence, and made himself
very comfortable in the straw.</p>
<p>The vulgar traveller got down only at the next station, and Giglio took
his place again, and talked to the person next to him. She appeared to be
a most agreeable, well-informed, and entertaining female. They travelled
together till night, and she gave Giglio all sorts of things out of the
bag which she carried, and which indeed seemed to contain the most
wonderful collection of articles. He was thirsty—out there came a
pint bottle of Bass’s pale ale, and a silver mug! Hungry—she took
out a cold fowl, some slices of ham, bread, salt, and a most delicious
piece of cold plum-pudding, and a little glass of brandy afterwards.</p>
<p>As they travelled, this plain-looking, queer woman talked to Giglio on a
variety of subjects, in which the poor Prince showed his ignorance as much
as she did her capacity. He owned, with many blushes, how ignorant he was;
on which the lady said, ‘My dear Gigl—my good Mr. Giles, you are a
young man, and have plenty of time before you. You have nothing to do but
to improve yourself. Who knows but that you may find use for your
knowledge some day? When—when you may be wanted at home, as some
people may be.’</p>
<p>‘Good heavens, madam!’ says he, ‘do you know me?’</p>
<p>‘I know a number of funny things,’ says the lady. ‘I have been at some
people’s christenings, and turned away from other folks’ doors. I have
seen some people spoilt by good fortune, and others, as I hope, improved
by hardship. I advise you to stay at the town where the coach stops for
the night. Stay there and study, and remember your old friend to whom you
were kind.’</p>
<p>‘And who is my old friend?’ asked Giglio.</p>
<p>‘When you want anything,’ says the lady, ‘look in this bag, which I leave
to you as a present, and be grateful to—’</p>
<p>‘To whom, madam?’ says he.</p>
<p>‘To the Fairy Blackstick,’ says the lady, flying out of the window. And
then Giglio asked the conductor if he knew where the lady was?</p>
<p>‘What lady?’ says the man; ‘there has been no lady in this coach, except
the old woman, who got out at the last stage.’ And Giglio thought he had
been dreaming. But there was the bag which Blackstick had given him lying
on his lap; and when he came to the town he took it in his hand and went
into the inn.</p>
<p>They gave him a very bad bedroom, and Giglio, when he woke in the morning,
fancying himself in the Royal Palace at home, called, ‘John, Charles,
Thomas! My chocolate—my dressing-gown—my slippers’; but nobody
came. There was no bell, so he went and bawled out for water on the top of
the stairs.</p>
<p>The landlady came up.</p>
<p>‘What are you a hollering and a bellaring for here, young man?’ says she.</p>
<p>‘There’s no warm water—no servants; my boots are not even cleaned.’</p>
<p>‘He, he! Clean ‘em yourself,’ says the landlady. ‘You young students give
yourselves pretty airs. I never heard such impudence.’</p>
<p>‘I’ll quit the house this instant,’ says Giglio.</p>
<p>‘The sooner the better, young man. Pay your bill and be off. All my rooms
is wanted for gentlefolks, and not for such as you.’</p>
<p>‘You may well keep the Bear Inn,’ said Giglio. ‘You should have yourself
painted as the sign.’</p>
<p>The landlady of the Bear went away GROWLING. And Giglio returned to his
room, where the first thing he saw was the fairy bag lying on the table,
which seemed to give a little hop as he came in. ‘I hope it has some
breakfast in it,’ says Giglio, ‘for I have only a very little money left.’
But on opening the bag, what do you think was there? A blacking-brush and
a pot of Warren’s jet, and on the pot was written:</p>
<p>Poor young men their boots must black:<br/>
Use me and cork me and put me back.<br/></p>
<p>So Giglio laughed and blacked his boots, and put back the brush and the
bottle into the bag.</p>
<p>When he had done dressing himself, the bag gave another little hop, and he
went to it and took out—</p>
<p>1. A tablecloth and a napkin.</p>
<p>2. A sugar-basin full of the best loaf-sugar.</p>
<p>4, 6, 8, 10. Two forks, two teaspoons, two knives, and a pair of
sugar-tongs, and a butter-knife all marked G.</p>
<p>11, 12, 13. A teacup, saucer, and slop-basin.</p>
<p>14. A jug full of delicious cream.</p>
<p>15. A canister with black tea and green.</p>
<p>16. A large tea-urn and boiling water.</p>
<p>17. A saucepan, containing three eggs nicely done.</p>
<p>18. A quarter of a pound of best Epping butter.</p>
<p>19. A brown loaf.</p>
<p>And if he hadn’t enough now for a good breakfast, I should like to know
who ever had one?</p>
<p>Giglio, having had his breakfast, popped all the things back into the bag,
and went out looking for lodgings. I forgot to say that this celebrated
university town was called Bosforo.</p>
<p>He took a modest lodging opposite the Schools, paid his bill at the inn,
and went to his apartment with his trunk, carpet-bag, and not forgetting,
we may be sure, his OTHER bag.</p>
<p>When he opened his trunk, which the day before he had filled with his best
clothes, he found it contained only books. And in the first of them which
he opened there was written—</p>
<p>Clothes for the back, books for the head: Read and remember them when they
are read.</p>
<p>And in his bag, when Giglio looked in it, he found a student’s cap and
gown, a writing-book full of paper, an inkstand, pens, and a Johnson’s
dictionary, which was very useful to him, as his spelling had been sadly
neglected.</p>
<p>So he sat down and worked away, very, very hard for a whole year, during
which ‘Mr. Giles’ was quite an example to all the students in the
University of Bosforo. He never got into any riots or disturbances. The
Professors all spoke well of him, and the students liked him too; so that,
when at examination, he took all the prizes, viz. <br/> <br/> {The
Spelling Prize {The French Prize<br/> {The Writing Prize {The Arithmetic
Prize<br/> {The History Prize {The Latin Prize<br/> {The Catechism Prize
{The Good Conduct Prize,</p>
<p>all his fellow-students said, ‘Hurrah! Hurray for Giles! Giles is the boy—the
student’s joy! Hurray for Giles!’ And he brought quite a quantity of
medals, crowns, books, and tokens of distinction home to his lodgings.</p>
<p>One day after the Examinations, as he was diverting himself at a
coffee-house with two friends—(Did I tell you that in his bag, every
Saturday night, he found just enough to pay his bills, with a guinea over,
for pocket-money? Didn’t I tell you? Well, he did, as sure as twice twenty
makes forty-five)—he chanced to look in the Bosforo Chronicle, and
read off, quite easily (for he could spell, read, and write the longest
words now), the following:—</p>
<p>‘ROMANTIC CIRCUMSTANCE.—One of the most extraordinary adventures
that we have ever heard has set the neighbouring country of Crim Tartary
in a state of great excitement.</p>
<p>‘It will be remembered that when the present revered sovereign of Crim
Tartary, His Majesty King PADELLA, took possession of the throne, after
having vanquished, in the terrific battle of Blunderbusco, the late King
CAVOLFIORE, that Prince’s only child, the Princess Rosalba, was not found
in the royal palace, of which King Padella took possession, and, it was
said, had strayed into the forest (being abandoned by all her attendants)
where she had been eaten up by those ferocious lions, the last pair of
which were captured some time since, and brought to the Tower, after
killing several hundred persons.</p>
<p>‘His Majesty King Padella, who has the kindest heart in the world, was
grieved at the accident which had occurred to the harmless little
Princess, for whom His Majesty’s known benevolence would certainly have
provided a fitting establishment. But her death seemed to be certain. The
mangled remains of a cloak, and a little shoe, were found in the forest,
during a hunting-party, in which the intrepid sovereign of Crim Tartary
slew two of the lions’ cubs with his own spear. And these interesting
relics of an innocent little creature were carried home and kept by their
finder, the Baron Spinachi, formerly an officer in Cavolfiore’s household.
The Baron was disgraced in consequence of his known legitimist opinions,
and has lived for some time in the humble capacity of a wood-cutter, in a
forest on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Crim Tartary.</p>
<p>‘Last Tuesday week Baron Spinachi and a number of gentlemen, attached to
the former dynasty, appeared in arms, crying, “God save Rosalba, the first
Queen of Crim Tartary!” and surrounding a lady whom report describes as
“BEAUTIFUL EXCEEDINGLY.” Her history MAY be authentic, is certainly most
romantic.</p>
<p>‘The personage calling herself Rosalba states that she was brought out of
the forest, fifteen years since, by a lady in a car drawn by dragons (this
account is certainly IMPROBABLE), that she was left in the Palace Garden
of Blombodinga, where Her Royal Highness the Princess Angelica, now
married to His Royal Highness Bulbo, Crown Prince of Crim Tartary, found
the child, and, with THAT ELEGANT BENEVOLENCE which has always
distinguished the heiress of the throne of Paflagonia, gave the little
outcast a SHELTER AND A HOME! Her parentage not being known, and her garb
very humble, the foundling was educated in the Palace in a menial
capacity, under the name of BETSINDA.</p>
<p>‘She did not give satisfaction, and was dismissed, carrying with her,
certainly, part of a mantle and a shoe, which she had on when first found.
According to her statement she quitted Blombodinga about a year ago, since
which time she has been with the Spinachi family. On the very same morning
the Prince Giglio, nephew to the King of Paflagonia, a young Prince whose
character for TALENT and ORDER were, to say truth, none of the HIGHEST,
also quitted Blombodinga, and has not been since heard of!’</p>
<p>‘What an extraordinary story!’ said Smith and Jones, two young students,
Giglio’s especial friends.</p>
<p>‘Ha! what is this?’ Giglio went on, reading—</p>
<p>‘SECOND EDITION, EXPRESS.—We hear that the troop under Baron
Spinachi has been surrounded, and utterly routed, by General Count
Hogginarmo, and the soidisant Princess is sent a prisoner to the capital.</p>
<p>‘UNIVERSITY NEWS.—Yesterday, at the Schools, the distinguished young
student, Mr. Giles, read a Latin oration, and was complimented by the
Chancellor of Bosforo, Dr. Prugnaro, with the highest University honour—the
wooden spoon.’</p>
<p>‘Never mind that stuff,’ says GILES, greatly disturbed. ‘Come home with
me, my friends. Gallant Smith! intrepid Jones! friends of my studies—partakers
of my academic toils—I have that to tell which shall astonish your
honest minds.’</p>
<p>‘Go it, old boy!’ cries the impetuous Smith.</p>
<p>‘Talk away, my buck!’ says Jones, a lively fellow.</p>
<p>With an air of indescribable dignity, Giglio checked their natural, but no
more seemly, familiarity. ‘Jones, Smith, my good friends,’ said the
PRINCE, ‘disguise is henceforth useless; I am no more the humble student
Giles, I am the descendant of a royal line.’</p>
<p>‘Atavis edite regibus, I know, old co—’ cried Jones. He was going to
say old cock, but a flash from THE ROYAL EYE again awed him.</p>
<p>‘Friends,’ continued the Prince, ‘I am that Giglio, I am, in fact,
Paflagonia. Rise, Smith, and kneel not in the public street. Jones, thou
true heart! My faithless uncle, when I was a baby, filched from me that
brave crown my father left me, bred me, all young and careless of my
rights, like unto hapless Hamlet, Prince of Denmark; and had I any
thoughts about my wrongs, soothed me with promises of near redress. I
should espouse his daughter, young Angelica; we two indeed should reign in
Paflagonia. His words were false—false as Angelica’s heart!—false
as Angelica’s hair, colour, front teeth! She looked with her skew eyes
upon young Bulbo, Crim Tartary’s stupid heir, and she preferred him.’ Twas
then I turned my eyes upon Betsinda—Rosalba, as she now is. And I
saw in her the blushing sum of all perfection; the pink of maiden modesty;
the nymph that my fond heart had ever woo’d in dreams,’ etc. etc.</p>
<p>(I don’t give this speech, which was very fine, but very long; and though
Smith and Jones knew nothing about the circumstances, my dear reader does,
so I go on.)</p>
<p>The Prince and his young friends hastened home to his apartment, highly
excited by the intelligence, as no doubt by the ROYAL NARRATOR’S admirable
manner of recounting it, and they ran up to his room where he had worked
so hard at his books.</p>
<p>On his writing-table was his bag, grown so long that the Prince could not
help remarking it. He went to it, opened it, and what do you think he
found in it?</p>
<p>A splendid long, gold-handled, red-velvet-scabbarded, cut-and-thrust
sword, and on the sheath was embroidered ‘ROSALBA FOR EVER!’</p>
<p>He drew out the sword, which flashed and illuminated the whole room, and
called out ‘Rosalba for ever!’ Smith and Jones following him, but quite
respectfully this time, and taking the time from His Royal Highness.</p>
<p>And now his trunk opened with a sudden pony, and out there came three
ostrich feathers in a gold crown, surrounding a beautiful shining steel
helmet, a cuirass, a pair of spurs, finally a complete suit of armour.</p>
<p>The books on Giglio’s shelves were all gone. Where there had been some
great dictionaries, Giglio’s friends found two pairs of jack-boots
labelled, ‘Lieutenant Smith,’ ‘—Jones, Esq.,’ which fitted them to a
nicety. Besides, there were helmets, back and breast plates, swords, etc.,
just like in Mr. G. P. R. James’s novels; and that evening three cavaliers
might have been seen issuing from the gates of Bosforo, in whom the
porters, proctors, etc., never thought of recognising the young Prince and
his friends.</p>
<p>They got horses at a livery stable-keeper’s, and never drew bridle until
they reached the last town on the frontier before you come to Crim
Tartary. Here, as their animals were tired, and the cavaliers hungry, they
stopped and refreshed at an hostel. I could make a chapter of this if I
were like some writers, but I like to cram my measure tight down, you see,
and give you a great deal for your money, and, in a word, they had some
bread and cheese and ale upstairs on the balcony of the inn. As they were
drinking, drums and trumpets sounded nearer and nearer, the marketplace
was filled with soldiers, and His Royal Highness looking forth, recognised
the Paflagonian banners, and the Paflagonian national air which the bands
were playing.</p>
<p>The troops all made for the tavern at once, and as they came up Giglio
exclaimed, on beholding their leader, ‘Whom do I see? Yes! No! It is, it
is! Phoo! No, it can’t be! Yes! It is my friend, my gallant faithful
veteran, Captain Hedzoff! Ho! Hedzoff! Knowest thou not thy Prince, thy
Giglio? Good Corporal, methinks we once were friends. Ha, Sergeant, an’ my
memory serves me right, we have had many a bout at singlestick.’</p>
<p>‘I’ faith, we have, a many, good my Lord,’ says the Sergeant.</p>
<p>‘Tell me, what means this mighty armament,’ continued His Royal Highness
from the balcony, ‘and whither march my Paflagonians?’</p>
<p>Hedzoff’s head fell. ‘My Lord,’ he said, ‘we march as the allies of great
Padella, Crim Tartary’s monarch.’</p>
<p>‘Crim Tartary’s usurper, gallant Hedzoff! Crim Tartary’s grim tyrant,
honest Hedzoff!’ said the Prince, on the balcony, quite sarcastically.</p>
<p>‘A soldier, Prince, must needs obey his orders: mine are to help His
Majesty Padella. And also (though alack that I should say it!) to seize
wherever I should light upon him.’</p>
<p>‘First catch your hare! ha, Hedzoff!’ exclaimed His Royal Highness.</p>
<p>‘—On the body of GIGLIO, whilome Prince of Paflagonia’ Hedzoff went
on, with indescribable emotion. ‘My Prince, give up your sword without
ado. Look! we are thirty thousand men to one!’</p>
<p>‘Give up my sword! Giglio give up his sword!’ cried the Prince; and
stepping well forward on to the balcony, the royal youth, WITHOUT
PREPARATION, delivered a speech so magnificent, that no report can do
justice to it. It was all in blank verse (in which, from this time, he
invariably spoke, as more becoming his majestic station). It lasted for
three days and three nights, during which not a single person who heard
him was tired, or remarked the difference between daylight and dark. The
soldiers only cheering tremendously, when occasionally, once in nine
hours, the Prince paused to suck an orange, which Jones took out of the
bag. He explained, in terms which we say we shall not attempt to convey,
the whole history of the previous transaction, and his determination not
only not to give up his sword, but to assume his rightful crown; and at
the end of this extraordinary, this truly GIGANTIC effort, Captain Hedzoff
flung up his helmet, and cried, ‘Hurray! Hurray! Long live King Giglio!’</p>
<p>Such were the consequences of having employed his time well at College!</p>
<p>When the excitement had ceased, beer was ordered out for the army, and
their Sovereign himself did not disdain a little! And now it was with some
alarm that Captain Hedzoff told him his division was only the advanced
guard of the Paflagonian contingent, hastening to King Padella’s aid; the
main force being a day’s march in the rear under His Royal Highness Prince
Bulbo.</p>
<p>‘We will wait here, good friend, to beat the Prince,’ His Majesty said,
‘and THEN will make his royal father wince.’</p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />